Five Minute Friday: Nurture

 

Five Minute Friday is a weekly link-up hosted by Kate. She provides a word, I set a timer, and write for 5 minutes. No editing, no deep thinking...just spur of the moment, whatever pops in my head writing. This week's prompt: NURTURE

We just finished the first full week of Lent. Lent is a time to nurture our Faith to prepare our hearts to be closer to God. I have to be honest, most years it doesn't seem as though I'm nurturing my faith; I feel like I'm going head-on, no holds barred, with Easter Sunday being the finish line. I always overextend myself, trying to do everything in the morning.

This year is a little different. I am working on nurturing my faith throughout my whole day. What does it look like? Morning prayers (from the Liturgy of the Hours), reading the daily readings for Daily Mass, Daily Mass, listening to Fr. Columba Jordan from Ascension Press, reading, listening to the Lent Pray40 from the Hallow app (while doing housework or driving), praying a Rosary (while walking the dogs), writing in my Crux journal and praying an Examen before bed. Somehow, I feel like I'm nurturing my faith gently, slowly throughout the day, not trying to do everything in the mornings. Honestly, usually by the time Easter Vigil rolls around, I'm worn out! Not this year. Faith has to be nurtured so that what I'm practicing during Lent will become a habit and will (hopefully continue through the Easter Season and beyond. 

I have the ability to structure my day to be able to nurture my Faith. I realize not everyone has that ability; there's work, kids, husband, etc. My goal this Lent is to nurture my faith so I'll be stronger going into the Easter Season and beyond.

5 minutes? Piece of cake!

Lenten Eye-Openers to Ponder

This Lent has been a real eye-opener for me. I started out with plans to study with Fr. Mark Toups, but after falling behind right off the bat, I changed plans. My Plan B was a women's study group at my parish with Dr. Edward Sri's No Greater Love. 24 days before the Easter Vigil, I prayed one hour each day from the book The 24 Hours of the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ by Louisa Piccarreta (Little Daughter of the Divine Will). The Bible and Breakfast Group at my parish began the Penitential Psalms, which very nicely supplemented the other 2. To top it off, I'm joining Fr. Mark-Mary Ames, CFR, with Rosary in a Year. The Sorrowful Mysteries' background and reflections that he offers are adding another dimension to The Passion.

The most eye-opening part of Jesus' Passion this Lent for me was that it wasn't Jesus' being physically tortured that caused Him the most pain, it was his friend turning against Him. Dr. Sri writes Perhaps more than the torturous physical suffering of the Cross, Judas' betrayal - the friend is 'turned to enemy' - may have been what caused Jesus the greatest sorrow that night.  (No Greater Love, page 15)  Is it not a grief to the death when a companion and friend is turned to enmity? (Sirach 37:2; Revised Standard Version | Second Catholic Edition) I just bet that not one person alive doesn't understand the feeling when a trusted person (who was thought to be a friend) does something or says something to break that trust and turn from "friend to foe". 

Psalm 22

Another eye-opener was how Psalm 22 foretells Christ's Passion. I already knew this, but at the beginning of the Psalm My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?, the words that Jesus spoke on the Cross, weren't the words of a man who was angry with God. When He spoke these words, the Jewish people would have known "the rest of the story". This Psalm is the Jewish Death Psalm; the Psalm that is the last word spoken when dying. As in all of the Penitential Psalms, it begins with suffering but ends in hope: Posterity shall serve him; men shall tell of the Lord to the coming generation, and proclaim his deliverance to a people yet unborn, that he has wrought it. (Psalm 22:30-31; Revised Standard Version | Second Catholic Edition) 

Again with Psalm 22, there are no words to describe how this Psalm, written by David generations before the Birth of Christ, so clearly defines the Passion. Every time I think about it, I am speechless. First, there is the verse But I am a worm, not a man. (Psalm 22:7) The Hebrew word for worm is "tola'at" (I've also seen "tolah" and "tola"), which refers to a worm in which a red (scarlet) dye was extracted. Catholic Exchange describes the tolah worm's life cycle: When it is ready to lay eggs, the worm climbs a tree, fastening itself to the wood. When the eggs hatch the larvae feed on the living flesh three days. When she finally dies, she secretes a crimson dye and contorts her body into a heart shape. At the end of the fourth day, the color turns from red to white. Isaiah 1:18 says ...Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be red like crimson, they may become white as wool.

Those were the 2 things that just blew me away. I (as probably most people) already knew about the correlation between the mentioning of mocking, a pack of evildoers closing in, and piercing of the hands and feet. Those things in itself leave me speechless, but that the Psalm ends in hope is a critical piece of information I wasn't aware of. 

What My Sins Actually Do

The last big revelation is from the book 24 Hours of the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ by Louisa Piccarreta (Little Daughter of the Divine Will). We always hear that Jesus' Crown of Thorns and the nails in His side result from our sins. But how? The 6th Hour left me stunned: ...I kiss your most holy head. But, what do I see? All the evil thoughts; and You feel disgust for them. For your most sacred head, each evil thought is a thorn which pricks You bitterly. And that's a small taste of what is in just that hour. I read that and I told Jesus that I get it. It took me this long in my life to completely understand it. We hear that thoughts can be sins, and here it is laid out. This is how our thoughts cause us to sin and contribute in the Passion of Our Lord. 

This Hour goes on to describe how the chains that bound Our Lord are because of worldly attachments. The other Hours are just as profound. I would highly recommend this book for reflection on the Passion. The book is offered for free; click on the title to be advanced to the book.

From Lent to Palm Sunday

Lent 2025 seemed to have flown by. I began this season with a Pilgrimage (make sure to check out the tab at the top of the page and check back for published posts) and ended with a deepening knowledge of Scripture, The Passion, and how my sins contribute to His Sufferings. Leave a comment and let me know how your Lent was, along with any new revelations. 

FMF: Access

 

Five Minute Friday: Kate provides a word every Friday. The writer sets a timer for 5 minutes and writes whatever comes to mind.

I did it again: I've overextended myself for Lent. There was a time not so long ago when access to Catholic study materials was very poor. We depended on our parish to provide us with Lenten materials. What and how much you received depended on the pastor. Times have thankfully changed. We have so much to choose from now. Every year I swear I won't overextend but most years I do.

The internet has given us a huge amount of access to materials we didn't have before. Podcasts do, too. Not to mention social media. There is so much out there, we just have to access it. There's so much that it's hard to decide because it's all so good. I think I could do year-long Lenten studies with the materials I have access to. 

Let's not forget Zoom; it gives us access to national and international book studies! I recently completed a book study on Bernadette Speaks. Sr. Mary Martha led us through the book every Wed. night. We had people from all over the USA and one lady in England reading the book and commenting on it. For Lent Sister is leading us in the book "He and I" (Gabrielle Bossis). 

Times up!!! How do people write so much in just five minutes? I'm a pretty quick typist but  I can't get any more than what I wrote today in 5 minutes! 

I have to include my list of Lenten studies:

Metanoia (Fr. Dave Pivonka)- Some ladies in my parish are gathering once/week to discuss a video from this series.

The Ascension Lenten Companion (Fr. Mark Toups)-Fr. Toups is amazing with visualization. He has a way of using words to put you in the scene of what is happening in the Bible and applying it to your life.

Be Transformed (Dr. Bob Schuchtes-the Abiding Together Ladies are leading this book study. They've done some excellent Lenten book studies in the past.)

Best Lent Ever (Dynamic Catholic---I usually only watch the videos-which you can have delivered daily in your email- but a friend gave me the journal and I can't let it go to waste!)

He & I (Gabrielle Bossis): This is the zoom book study by Sr. Mary Martha (Daughters of St. Paul- the "media nuns"). The good thing about this study is that if I can't make the zoom on Wed., the sessions are recorded so I can catch up during the week. Gabrielle was a single woman in the early 20th century who, at the age of 62, began dialoguing with Jesus during her daily life. 

What are your Lenten plans?

How Different Is This Easter?

Photo Credit

This Easter is like no other that any of us has experienced before. There is no Chrism Mass, no washing of the feet, no Veneration of the Cross on Good Friday. With the Corona Virus Pandemic, Public Masses have ceased and Churches have locked their doors in an effort to keep people home.

The Adoration Chapel at my Parish was open until the Priest felt it necessary to close for our safety. Honestly, it felt like one more blow we took. First, no Precious Blood at Communion. Then, no Public Mass. Finally, no Eucharistic Adoration. It just isn't the same streaming Adoration over an electronic device. I was going by Church every morning to stream Mass and to say a Rosary to get away from distractions at home: the dogs, a snoring husband, and knowing my laptop was there waiting for me. I realize that Jesus is begging for us to give Him attention in our homes...not just in our Churches.

Easter is going to be so very quiet this year. The thought hit me like a brick a few weeks ago as I was at my Adoration Hour: How quiet was the first Easter? How close to that first Easter will this one mimic? Think about it: Once it was discovered that Jesus was no longer in the tomb, there was no celebrating in the streets. There were no ecstatic gatherings. No, the apostles hunkered down in a locked room by themselves. They were scared about what was going to happen next. Sound familiar? So many people are scared right now, not knowing what's going to happen next, not knowing how life is going to change.

My Parish Priest discussed the scripture that tells us how to pray: But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you. (Matthew 6:6) Unfortunately, that is somewhat what we are doing now; however, groups are gathering through social media and other platforms, out in the open. What a beautiful thing that is, that people are finding a way around not being allowed in the Church to worship and grow in faith!

I see good things coming out of this pandemic: families are spending time together. I live next to a park, and don't recall ever seeing so many families taking advantage of the trails, fields, and benches. Not only that, but Jesus is coming into homes. The family is the domestic church, and we're being reminded of that.

When I look back over this Lent, I see how different this season turned out than what I thought it would be like. In the beginning, I asked God to give me a new heart, a new spirit that would allow Him to find me. I wanted to be able to not just say that I love God but to really mean it. I stream Mass to find my eyes filled with tears during the Consecration and I know that my heart has completely opened to Him. And I realize that my journey to Him is beginning.

Feeling Let Down After Easter Sunday?

Photo courtesy of Negative Space

“Stop holding on to me.” (John 20:17) The past few Lents have been very meaningful to me. I’ve not only learned a lot about God, but also about myself. I hate to admit it, but this has resulted in me feeling a bit of a let-down after Easter Sunday. I should feel joyous, right? As St. John Paul II said, “We are an Easter people.” So why am I not feeling it?

An "AHA" Moment

As I reflected on Jesus telling Mary Magdalene “Stop holding on to me,” I had that “AHA”  moment. It was as though Jesus was speaking to ME, telling me to let Lent go and rejoice. Easter Sunday is an end, not only an end to death, but an end of Lent, of fasting, and, in my case, of doing something extra, sacrificing something to spend more time with the Lord. I feel a little lost trying not to fall back into my Pre-Lenten habits so I can focus on the ultimate goal.
Maybe that’s why I’m having trouble finding the joy: I was so wrapped up in everything I did for Lent that I was focusing on the fight (suffering) and not the prize (the Resurrection). I know I over-extended myself this Lent. (See this post.) I was caught up with my fear of being left out that I took on too much and lost focus of Easter Sunday.

Plenty of Time

But thankfully, it’s not too late. One of the great things about being Catholic is that, after sacrificing for 40 days, we rejoice in the Resurrection for 40 days. Easter isn’t just 1 day; we follow the apostles for 40 days during the Easter Season until the Ascension, then 10 more days until Pentecost. We travel with them as Jesus’ ministry becomes theirs. We watch and learn how our Catholic faith began. Exciting stuff, isn’t it?
It’s time to let go of Lent and rejoice in the Resurrection. It’s time to get excited about learning how Christianity- and Catholicism began. Easter Sunday is an end, but also a huge beginning.

How Walking the Dog Inspired My Spiritual Life

On one of the first warm days this season as I was walking my dog, it hit me: How cool is it that Lent is this time of year? I've never thought about it until this year: Lent begins in winter and ends in Spring. Seeing color popping up all over gave me inspiration. I took a good look at the trees: they look dead, but after taking a closer look, you realize that they are coming back to life, first by the buds that will grow into leaves and flowers.

We see color popping up in the most unusual places. I think we should see that in our lives God pops up when we least expect it.

Spring is a time for us to wake up and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. What was once sleeping or dormant is now bursting into life with all of the colors in the palette. Just as the trees and the flowers and even the weeds are coming to life with color, so should our spiritual life. We've made it through ordinary time and are making our way through Lent, so now is the time to start awakening.

With spring comes storms just as with our spiritual life we will have storms. Some may be rough and some not as rough as the others, but they will happen and we just have to trust in God that we will be safe. I think it's a beautiful thing that Lent starts in winter & ends in Spring because with the blooming of the spring flowers, so our hearts bloom for our Lord.

If the weeds can produce beautiful flowers then surely I, being the miserable sinner that I am, can also produce something beautiful. God gives us that chance to repent and to have our souls become beautiful again.

Spring is a time of renewal: The earth wakes up and is renewed. The animals start the renewal of a new generation.

I would encourage you to get out as soon as it's warm enough in your neck of the woods and take a walk. Take is slooooow. I'm usually all about getting around the park with the dog so I can get my 30 minutes in and be done with it. I am so thankful that I took the time when I started this post to take it slow and look...really look at what is going on around me. It is truly a wondrous thing, made more wondrous when putting it in the context of Lent and just how beautiful nature coinciding with the liturgical calendar is. I'm pretty sure it's no accident!

Songs to Help Me Focus on Lent

photo credit: Fey Ilyas Listen via photopin (license)

I love music. I love to listen to it, I love to play beautiful songs on my flute. I know it's a beautiful song when it makes me cry; I guess I'm sentimental that way. Or maybe I just appreciate musicians who touch my heart. Anyway, I compiled a list of songs to help me focus on Lent. These are songs that I've come across that help me reflect on how sacred this season is.
Here is a sample of my playlist:

♪ Once and For All-Lauren Daigle (I listened to this during Adoration.)

♪ How Beautiful-Twila Paris (An oldie but a goodie. I listened to this in Adoration and ended up with tears streaming down my face as I gazed at Jesus on the crucifix with the Eucharist under him)

♪ Feet of Jesus-Steven Curtis Chapman

♪ Remember-Laura Story

♪ Wounded Healer-Audrey Assad (She has so many beautiful songs that are so appropriate for Lent)

♪ Desert Soul-Rend Collective (This is a band from Northern Ireland. I just recently discovered this song.)

I made a Spotify playlist instead of listing all 50+ songs. Click on the picture below to be taken to it. Don't be confused by the username. 

What songs help you focus on Lent? Let me know in the comments what I need to add.

If Lent isn't Biblical, Why Do We Observe It?

Photo courtesy of Unsplash

Is Lent Biblical? I saw someone's Instagram post right as Lent began announcing that he was not observing Lent because it isn't Biblical. My first reaction: Of course it is. Jesus went into the desert for 40 days to prepare for "training, testing and preparing for something incredible" (Fr. Mike Schmitz) before he began his public ministry.  In addition, Lent is also 40 days because that is how long Moses stayed on the mountain (Exodus 24:18), and how long it took Elijah to travel to Horeb where he encountered the Lord. (Kings 19:8). So if Lent isn't biblical, why do Catholics, along with some denominations, observe it as one of the holiest seasons of the liturgical calendar?

The early Church had those preparing to come into the Church at Easter take 40 days before Easter to train, test, and prepare themselves. As Catholics Christians, I believe we are called to observe Lent to prepare ourselves each year for Jesus' death and resurrection. At the end of every Mass, we are called to go out and evangelize, to do our sort of public ministry. It will look differently for each of us, depending on our vocation. Lent is a way for us to rekindle and "re-arm" ourselves for our ministries. For me, it is a time of reading and studying, reflection and fasting. By the time Easter rolls around, I feel armed to take on questions and discussions that may be asked of me during other times of the year. Lent is my 40 days in the desert.

Be careful what you hear

I watched a Youtube video that supposedly quoted the Catholic Encyclopedia. The quote:
the real aim of Lent is, above all else, to prepare men for the celebration of the death and Resurrection of Christ...One can effectively relive the mystery only with purified mind and heart. The purpose of Lent is to provide that purification by weaning men from sin and selfishness through self-denial and prayer, by creating in them the desire to do God's will and to make His kingdom come by making it come first of all in all their hearts.
Sounds good, right? Completely makes sense. There wasn't a page number or a link to the source, and when I looked for it online, I couldn't find what he quoted. It isn't under "Lent", anyway. For some reason, the guy interpreted the passage to say self-purification, which it doesn't say at all. He goes on to say that Ash Wednesday isn't biblical because ashes aren't in the bible. (I think he needs to spend more time reading the Good Book!) He continues that it's on Wednesday because that day is named after Odin, a pagan god. But...aren't most (if not all) Christian holidays originated from pagan holidays? At least, the day that they are celebrated are. But that's a post for another day. Another error in the video: He says that in 8360, the Council of Leaticia (Spelling is probably incorrect)officially commanded the observance of Lent. Does anyone else see a couple of problems with this? First off, 8360 is over 6000 years away. The second thing is that there has been no Council by that name. (Find a list of Ecumenical Councils from The Catholic Encyclopedia here.) The First Council of Nicaea formalized the practice in 325. (https://www.britannica.com/topic/Lent) And people are actually paying this guy (whose channel is called "UNLEARN the lies") to spread untruths!

Ashing It Out

I think we all know that the ashes have biblical roots. The Huffington Post, in an article about Ash Wednesday, says ...there is no mention of Ash Wednesday in the Bible. But there is a tradition of donning ashes as a sign of penitence that predates Jesus. In the Old Testament, Job repents “in dust and ashes,” and there are other associations of ashes and repentance in Esther, Samuel, Isaiah and Jeremiah. By the 10th century, the monk Aelfric tied the practice, which dates to the eighth century, to the period before Easter, writing, “Now let us do this little at the beginning of our Lent that we strew ashes upon our heads to signify that we ought to repent of our sins during the Lenten fast.” By the 11th century, the practice was widespread throughout the church — until Martin Luther, the Protestant reformer, threw the practice out in the 16th century because it was not biblically based. There’s no Lent in the Bible, either, though many Christians see it as an imitation of the 40 days Jesus spent fasting and battling with Satan in the desert.
A Life Teen blog post indicates 40 passages from the Bible referring to ashes. The post also states that people have been receiving ashes for over 1200 years on dies cinerum (day of ashes). Ash Wednesday comes from the Jewish tradition of penance and fasting. (Catholic Online)

The Short and Long Answer

So the short answer would be that Lent is not specifically found in the Bible, but the long answer is "yes, Lent is Biblical, along with the Catholic Traditions". Not only does the Church rely on the Bible, but also on Traditions.
Joel 2:12-13:
Yet even now-oracle of the Lord-
   return to me with your whole heart,
   with fasting, weeping, and mourning.
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
   and return to the Lord, your God.
For he is gracious and merciful,
  slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, 
  and relenting in punishment.
As Saint John Paul II said, "We are an Easter people". Even if Lent has pagan roots and isn't Biblical, as long as it brings us closer to God and more spiritually mature, is that a bad thing?

Deciding How to Pick a Lenten Devotional Journal

Photo courtesy of Pexels

It's getting harder and harder to decide what to pick for my Lenten Devotional Journal. Who's with me? There are so many to choose from and not enough time to do it all. How do you decide? For me, there's the huge issue of "FOMO" (Fear of Missing Out); I see some that look really great on social media and I want to get them all. Unfortunately, Lent is only 40 days; last year it seemed to fly by. I wasn't ready for it to end because I enjoyed my Lenten journey.
Just a few short years ago I had trouble finding a Catholic Journal. There were plenty of Protestant Journals but none that were specific for Catholics. I think the first one I found was from Blessed is She. Now it seems like I get an offer for a different one every other day. Oh, sure, you can do your own journal by reading the Daily Mass Readings and writing down your thoughts (which is basically what I've started doing) but to me, Lent is different. I want a little more guidance during that liturgically time of the year. What follows is not an exhaustive list; included is some of the journals that I've found that may be of interest.

🕈 To the End: the story of sacrificial love Lenten Journal (Blessed is She). Written by BiS founder Jenna Guizar with Beth Davis and Nell O'Leary helping her out, the journal focuses on the Gospel of John 11-19. Included is a weekly examen and space to journal for Sunday Mass. Cost: $25 with free shipping in the USA. You can't go wrong with any of the journals from Blessed is She!

🕈 Give Up Worry for Lent: 40 Days to Finding Peace in Christ (Gary Zimak- Ave Maria Press). This journal presents scripture and advice based on scripture to let go of things beyond your control through 4 steps: Read, Reflect, Respond, Pray. This isn't technically a "journal" per se because there is no space in the book to write your thoughts. You'd need your own notebook for journaling. I'm going to remember this book for next year. Cost: $13.95 + $2.75 shipping

🕈 BEST LENT EVER Jounal (Dynamic Catholic). This journal is designed to use with the daily Lenten reflections that are delivered to your email box. There isn't a preview available on the website and the "About" section wasn't descriptive enough to be able to say more about it. I do love Matthew Kelly and everything the Dynamic Catholic crew is doing, so it's definitely worth a look. Cost: $14.95 + $5.95 shipping.

🕈 The St. Paul Center is offering a free online study: Genesis to Jesus. It explores how and why we should read the Bible. A participant workbook is offered for $16.00 + free shipping in the USA. Scott Hahn is "da bomb" when it comes to understanding our faith. When purchasing, one option is to also buy Dr. Hahn's book; I already had it. It's not necessary for the study but it appears to be a companion for further reading.

🕈 Remember Your Death A Lenten Devotional (Theresa Aletheia Noble, FSP- Pauline Books) This may seem a little morbid, but dying is a fact, and we need to be ready when our time on earth is up. This devotional isn't a journal; however, it does have a section for journaling in your own book. Cost: $16.95 + $3.75 shipping.

🕈 Lenten Gospel Reflections (Bishop Robert Barron- Word on Fire). A friend gave me the Advent version which was awesome so I couldn't pass this up when I saw it. The reflections are based on the Daily Mass Readings with a short reflection by Bishop Barron and a suggestion for meditation and journaling. Space for journaling is included. Cost: FREE with $5.95 shipping.

🕈 If those weren't enough, the crew from Take Up and Read has a new book Hosanna. This journal uses Lectio Divina to delve into the Gospel of Matthew. This is where my FOMO comes in: I saw this all over Instagram and fear I may be missing out. I suppose if I called in sick every day during Lent I would get through everything I wanted to, but obviously, that isn't an option! Cost: $22.00 on Amazon, so if you have Prime you know what that means: free shipping!

🕈 Women in the New Evangelization (WINE) is offering Walk in her Sandals: Experiencing Christ's Passion Through the Eyes of Women (Kelly  M. Wahlquist) for their Lenten Book Club. You don't have to be in a "book club" to participate, you can do a self-study or follow along in their Facebook group. This was the book they used for Lent 2018 but the study guide is different. Cost: $15.95 (book only), $14.95 (journal only), or $25 (bundle-includes book, journal, and bookmark - members receive a discount!). Another case of FOMO settling in: Kelly Wahlquist is going to be the keynote speaker for our Diocesan CCW Convention in April, so I feel the need to get this and use it this Lent. Maybe something else will have to be put on the backburner?

🕈 A couple of other books worth mentioning: Scott Hahn's Lenten Reflections from A Father Who Keeps His Promises (Franciscan Media) - which is recommended to accompany the free online study- (I did this last year along with the Blessed is She journal) and What Jesus Saw from the Cross (A.G. Sertillanges- Sophia Institute Press). Lenten Reflections' cost is $15.99 +  $1.90 shipping (if you spend $30 from Franciscan Media you receive free shipping); the cost of What Jesus Saw: $18.95 + $5.00 shipping for paperback and $9.95 for ebook.

Okay, Y'all: What did I miss? What are your plans for Lent, or have you not started thinking about yet? If you haven't, better get crackin'! Picking a Lenten Devotional is a very tough decision and it's getting harder with every year.

Trying to Grasp What It All Means

I am writing this on the morning of Good Friday so I am in the throes of feeling the grief at Jesus being betrayed and left by his disciples to die on the cross. I am feeling the hatred that He must have felt during the Way of the Cross. I am feeling lonely, rejected, and just downright sad.

Humbled and Honored

I had the honor of playing my flute for Holy Thursday Mass, along with my flute partner, 2 violins, and a cello. The music that our director prepared was beautiful and added so much to the Mass. In addition to that, I was so humbled to be asked to be one of the 12 parishioners to sit on the altar and have the priest wash our feet. It was more humbling and emotional than I could have imagined. I had been asked before and said no. Last year as I sat in the pew watching I knew I would say yes if asked again.

Dropping Out

As The Transfer of the Blessed Sacrament made its way to the Adoration Chapel, I noticed people began to drop out. This struck me as I thought of Jesus making his way to Golgotha. The apostles dropped out as did other followers of Jesus until there was only the Blessed Virgin, Mary of Clopas, Mary of Magdala, and John (John 19:25). Everyone else dropped by the wayside. How many times have I "dropped out" during my lifetime?
Do we realize just what He did for us? The ultimate sacrifice He made so we might live? Wow. I can't even begin to grasp this.

A Welcome Memory

What better way to spend a birthday but to play at Mass & have the humbling experience to have your feet washed? I took the day off of work because I had a doctor's appointment. In the morning, I heard cardinals...a lot of cardinals. There's a saying that when you see a cardinal it's a sign that someone in heaven is praying for you. Seeing and hearing cardinals have been a great comfort to me since my mom's and then my dad's passings. I had to smile and say a quick prayer when I heard a cardinal singing. While sitting on the porch with my dad one day a few years ago, we heard a bird & he pointed out that it was a cardinal singing "pretty, pretty, pretty". Who knew that passing of information would bring me such comfort in the future!
Since my mother's passing a few years ago, Holy Thursday has been exceptionally emotional for me, especially during the Transfer of the Blessed Sacrament. She was the organist for about 40 years, so when I hear Pange Lingua Gloriosi I hear her singing and I tear up. It's such a beautiful hymn and I am filled with such gratitude for having her as my mother and for passing on the Catholic Faith.

Unexpected Emotions

Some Triduums affect me more emotionally than others. I did not expect to feel this way at this minute, on this Good Friday, because I don't think I'm as prepared for Easter as other years.  Maybe that's why it's hitting me so hard all at once. I'll go through my day doing what I have to do. I'll start preparing for Easter Dinner and will go to the Living Stations of the Cross as well as the Celebration of the Passion of the Lord tonight. I will do my best to realize and try to grasp just what He has done for me.

Rejoicing with Grace in the Middle of Lent

The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines grace as favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to be children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life. (CCC 1996) In RCIA this week, someone had a very good question: What is the difference between grace & blessing? The Catechism explains blessing as expressing the basic movement of Christian prayer; it is an encounter between God and man. In blessing, God's gift and man's acceptance of it are united in dialogue with each other, the prayer of blessing is man's response to God's gifts: because God blesses, the human heart can in return bless the One who is the source of every blessing. (CCC 2626) I interpret that to mean that through God's blessing, we receive grace. Please keep in mind that I am not a theologian and have never taken college courses on theology. This is just my simple mind trying to wrap my head around this week's Readings.

Rejoice in the middle of Lent?

The priests and deacons wear pink (or rose...the deacon is adamant that they are rose!) vestments this week. Lent is a time for confession, penance, and reconciliation. Here we are in the middle of Lent, and it's a day of rejoicing. (Enter record scratch here.) Wait...what? Yes, I said rejoicing. In the middle of Lent!  It's time to come out of the darkness to prepare for our risen Lord. To get to that, first, we have to relive his passion.  But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Today is the day to get a breather. Take a deep breath, look back on how you've been doing during Lent with your spiritual health, and get ready for the "heavy week". As I get older, Holy Week takes on more meaning. As I reflect on how my Lent has been going, I have work to do. Serious work. I slacked off this past week and haven't felt myself getting closer to God. I feel like I'm hiding in the darkness.

Coming Out of the Dark

When I was a child, I'm pretty sure if I did something I wasn't supposed to I would sneak and hide. (Getting sweets when I wasn't supposed to comes to mind!) We have a dog (who is actually my son's...she's our house guest until he graduates) who will run and hide under the bed when she's done something wrong. I think those are 2 pretty good examples of hiding in the darkness due to sin. (You might argue that dogs can't sin, but that's a topic for another day.) In the dog's case, once we cajole her and talk sweetly to her, she'll come out from under the bed. As people, once we're told it's okay and we're forgiven, don't we feel as if the darkness has dissipated? During his Homily, the priest said that Jesus came to bring light to the world. Lent is not about darkness so we shouldn't hide but instead come out into the light. As Catholics, we receive grace when we go to confession and are absolved of our sins. What an amazing blessing God has given us!

Just Go

Communal penitential services are a perfect time to prepare yourself to receive the grace given to us through the Sacrament of Penance. Or, go to confession at your parish's scheduled time. If that doesn't work for you, call the parish office and make an appointment for the priest to hear your confession. Just go to prepare yourself for Holy Week.

During the Homily, Father mentioned that as Christians, we continue to be drawn to God. I momentarily got distracted by Audrey Assad's song coming to mind:

Time to Clear Out

Flashback to Wednesday afternoon. I pulled out my Magnificat to read the Gospel for Sunday before RCIA. The problem was, there were 2 different readings. Are we in Year A or B? I just chalked it up to God just wanting me to listen as it was read during RCIA, only this week we didn't have the Gospel reading and discussion we usually do. I shrugged it off because surely the USCCB will tell me exactly which one to read. Sunday morning I pulled up USCCB on my tablet, but it didn't tell me which one to read. I was a little frustrated. So, I pulled up my email, because my Blessed is She email will have the Readings listed. And it did. I did a little chuckle when I realized That the Gospel tells about the time Jesus went into the temple with a whip, overturning tables and yelling because it had been turned into a marketplace. That pretty much calmed my frustration pretty quickly. I found it interesting that God let me feel so frustrated before reading the Gospel. I know the frustration I felt was just a minuscule fraction of what Jesus felt.

It had to be over the top

The Gospel this week is a story we all know. It's the story about when Jesus gets mad. Honestly, this has always confused me, because Jesus is perfect and, to me, should never get mad. Losing your patience is a sin, right? Looking at it right now, at this moment, I get it. He did what he had to in order to make the people see what they were doing. He had to "overexaggerate" if you will. If he had just walked in the temple and politely said, "Okay, you guys. This is my father's house, and what you're doing is not allowed in here, so pick up your merchandise and get your animals out of here", they would have looked at him and laughed him out of the temple. No, it took something over the top for them to see just how serious this was.

The "Aha Moment"

During his homily, Father took notice that Jesus drove out the sheep and the oxen; however, he told the ones with the doves to just get them out of there. I can picture Jesus looking at them with compassion and quietly telling them to get the birds out. I never realized the significance of the birds, or that Jesus treated them differently. Father explained that when people came from all over for the Passover, some traveled a great distance. The animal to be sacrificed had to be unblemished, so I imagine that those travelers couldn't chance bringing an animal, only to have something happen to it before the sacrifice. They bought unblemished animals in Jerusalem. The doves were less expensive, so the poor were the ones who purchased them. Therein lies the explanation as to why Jesus gently (in my opinion) told those sellers to take the doves out.  And that was my "Aha moment" of the day.

Clearing out your temple

Our parish priest is such an amazing homilist. I'm always eager to hear his homilies when I find out he is the celebrant for Mass because I know it's going to be good.  They aren't long, but they are short, sweet, and to the point. Not only that but relatable to the here and now. This week's homily was no different. In relating the Gospel to today, he said that Lent is a time of cleaning out your temple. It's now that we refocus on what is important: not the material things or selfishness, but getting right with God. He said, now is the time to "clear out what gets in our way so we can rejoice with a pure heart." 

We are just about halfway through Lent. Father's words have given me a sense of urgency; I am nowhere near ready to rejoice with a pure heart. I'm getting there. Every time I think I'm on the way I have a setback, but I always seem to get back on the right track. Maybe that's what Lent is all about: the ups and downs, the trials and rejoicing. God definitely doesn't let me too proud of myself! Especially lately, He's keeping me humble!

How is Lent going for you? Are you ready to rejoice with a pure heart or are you sensing the urgency as I am?

Good Friday: Just Imagine and Stop Resisting

Picture courtesy of Aaron Burden

This morning, as I read the entry in my Blessed is She Lenten Journal, this was brought to us: Imagine yourself at the foot of the cross. Imagine Mary & John beside you. Wow. When I started writing, I didn't think I'd have enough room to write what was going through my head. So, I opened up my laptop, and here I am. 

How my heart aches at the cruelty of man. How quickly our hearts and minds can change. During the procession around the church of the Blessed Sacrament during Holy Thursday's Mass, I imagined the people following Jesus into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday; then I imagined how many were at the cross when he was crucified.  I wondered just how many people actually went into the Adoration Chapel between the procession and midnight. Obviously, not everyone would be able to fit into the chapel, but I wonder just how many went?

I didn't. I was tired, I had a headache, and I just wanted to go to bed. I have a lot of things to do today, Good Friday, and those things kept going through my mind. I realized I’m just like those people who followed, but then abandoned him when he was put to death. I realized I’m one of those in the crowd who yelled, “Crucify him”. And I’m ashamed.

During Dynamic Catholic’s BestLent Ever, the focus was on how we resist God through resisting the little things in our lives. It starts with the resistance to even get out of bed in the morning, choosing to hit the snooze button instead. This series made me realize how much resisting I do. I resisted going to confession until Wednesday afternoon. There was a struggle going on within me: Do I call the church office or just skip it? It was so late, surely Father is busy and won’t have time. Finally, at 2:45, I gave in and called. I found out I wasn’t the only one who needed his/her confession heard at that late an hour. The Associate Pastor wasn’t there yet, but the priest at the mission church was, and while I don’t think he really wanted to hear my confession, he did. (This was after me telling him that it wouldn’t take long…I was almost perfect! Oops…forgot to mention that sin during my confession!) I’m so glad I gave in and called and that he heard my confession; I think I would have felt really guilty going into Easter Vigil without receiving absolution.

During Lent, I’ve been going to the outdoor Stations of the Cross and going through them on my own so I can spend Friday evenings with my husband. Last Friday, I just wanted to go home after work. It was cold and I was tired. I had to make myself go, but I did go. Resistance didn’t win that day!

I could have gone back over to the church last night for Adoration. I don’t live very far from the church, so that wasn’t the issue. I was selfish. My headache went away, but I didn’t go back over. Maybe I didn’t leave Jesus completely alone, because I’m sure the priests and deacons were there; but, was there anyone else? Is that what happened when Jesus was crucified? Did the people just go home and go about their business? Did they even give him another thought?

We may not have been physically there during the crucifixion, but we can be spiritually there every day. We can resist him, or we can take that extra step to do what we should. We can truly follow him all the way, offering up our little sacrifices in order to be closer to him. Even when we have a headache, we’re tired, and we just want to go to bed. 

Who am I?

I walked into the Adoration Chapel to see everything except the Body of Christ covered with a purple cloth. As I gazed up to the covered crucifix, I thought about Jesus. 3 years. Only 3 years. He did so much in those years; healed so many people. 

Mary is covered, too. My heart aches for what she, as a mother, went through. She knew who He was, but did that ease her pain at all?

Then, it really hit me: He was a man. He ate, drank, slept as any man would. He had friends and He certainly had enemies. He had parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Isn't it inconceivable that God loves us so much that He allowed His son to become like us for a very short period? He allowed His son to be nailed to a cross for our sins.
It's just too much to wrap your head around. Who am I that He suffered for my sins? I am so not deserving. I am a sinner. I sin the same sins over and over again. And each time I sin, that nail is hammered through His hands and feet; that thorny crown is pushed a little further on His head. Mary's heart breaks just a little more as she witnesses what I've done to her son- - -her baby boy. 

And yet, it had to be. For us to gain eternal life, it had to be this way. What a sacrifice. What heartache Mary went through for us. FOR US.

No, we are not deserving. But God knows we are. We have the crucifix to remind us. I look at Him and think about the pain. And try to lessen it.

But I must try harder.

{SQT} Thoughts in My Head

I'm joining Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum this week for Seven Quick Takes.

--- 1 ---

Our CCW (Council of Catholic Women) was asked to host the Diocesan Convention this year. We had a meeting on Monday, and 3 of our officers almost managed to get kicked out. Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. We did, however, get "shushed" some. We're in our second (and last!) year of being officers. We do like to laugh and have a good time. Some were not amused. 

After last year's convention, we were holding our breath because we knew it was our Deanery's turn to host. We almost got out of there without hosting!

--- 2 ---

After the meeting, a young lady saw my Blessed is She Planner (currently sold out) and asked if she could see it. We completely Catholic Geeked out talking about what we, as Catholic working women, want need in a planner. You've gotta love talking to other women who 'get' what you need!

--- 3 ---

I'm doing the Catholic Sistas Lent Photo Journey. I've started it the past 2 years, but failed miserably. I'm actually having a pretty good go of it this year. Never mind that we're only in the first full week of Lent! Here is a collection of my pictures so far:

You can follow along with my photo journey through lent by following me on Instagram: @tnslp. To catch up and/or join in, click here for the information.

--- 4 ---

This whole "keeping your thoughts about other people to yourself" thing is hard. REALLY hard. It's making me realize how many times I think negative thoughts about other people. I guess if it was easy, everyone would be doing it, right?

--- 5 ---

You know how you feel like you know someone through their blog or the radio? Yesterday, I looked quickly through my twitter feed (which I very rarely do, because...HELLO! Waste of time!) and I came across this:

I don't know Leticia, I've only listened to her on the Jennifer Fulwiler Show (The Sirius Catholic Channel). She's gone through some real struggles in her life (she is a self-proclaimed "hot mess"), and this just absolutely broke my heart. I looked back through her feed, and she seemed to be getting things together with classes. Just the day before she was asking people to pray for her dog, and yesterday she's asking for prayers for her son and her family.  I know from experience how traumatic it is when you have a child dealing with depression, but this is beyond my comprehension, to lose a child due to suicide.
Please pray for her, her family, and her son. May he now find the peace he was unable to find.

--- 6 ---

As a School Speech Pathologist, I am responsible for 2 schools. 1 of them is not far from the gate to the Smoky Mountains National Park, so the scenery can be pretty, depending on when the sun rises. The past few mornings I've driven there, it seems like God has painted the sky just for me. August skies are usually pretty spectacular, but lately they've been just as pretty. I had to pull into the middle school parking lot on Tues. to take this picture. It was just gorgeous!

The picture still didn't really do it justice, but I think you get the idea!

--- 7 ---

Every now and then, when I read the daily readings, a song will pop into my head. And stay there. A true "ear worm". Tuesday's reading did just that. "Lord, teach us to pray." And I've had the following song stuck in my head ever since. We had this album when I was young. There are some really good songs in that album; this one in particular comes back to visit often.

{SQT} Fasting, Gossip, with Some OCD Thrown In

Kelly from This Ain't the Lyceum graciously hosts Seven Quick Takes every Friday. So, jump on over to join and see what everyone else has to say.

1. So...fasting on Ash Wednesday. Did anyone else have a headache? I made a conscious effort to fast; I didn't even have coffee (I'm assuming this is where the headache came from). 

2. I'm making an effort to fast from lunch with co-workers to keep from being involved in gossiping. I enjoy eating with them; we're actually a fairly close-knit group. 

3. Speaking of not gossiping: I saw a teacher wear something so totally unprofessional and inappropriate to be wearing at school. It took all I had not to run to my friends and make a comment.

4. If you've subscribed to Dynamic Catholic's Best Lent Ever, then you saw the video from Thursday where Matthew Kelly talks about being happy. I've found that when I stay away from gossip and keep to myself at work, I'm happier. Not only that, but I also get more things done and I am more focused.

5. Being organized also makes me happy. It definitely makes the day seem to go so much smoother. Some people may say I'm a bit OCD, but...whatever!

6. One of the good things about playing in the choir for Ash Wednesday Mass: You have a seat.

It was seriously crowded. I didn't think the ashes were ever going to be finished. 

7. My favorite hashtag about Ash Wednesday: #getyourashinchurch . I've used it every Ash Wednesday since I first saw it. Father did a good job with my ashes; I think it was the best ash cross I've ever had!