Time: What a Gift!

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-2-bell-alarm-clock-on-grass-field-36351/

I recently went through the Called and Gifted Discernment Process (St. Catherine of Siena Institute). This made me aware of the gifts He has given to me that I bring to Him at every Mass I participate in. That just seemed like "old news" to me. I feel that He wants something more, but what? 

As if right on cue, Dynamic Catholic's Daily Reflection for January 7, 2025, corresponded with the meditation in Fr. Mark Toup's book:

As Fr. Mark says: "We need time for Sabbath. We need time for rest. We need time for silence, reflection, and prayer." He goes on to refer to Pope Benedict XVI: Making time for God is a "fundamental element for spiritual growth....he will enable us to understand more deeply what he expects of me." 

I hate to sound like a broken record, but in thinking back over the past few years, God was gracious and merciful enough to gift Robert & me with time. Now it is my time to give Him the gift of my time. And as Matthew Kelly put it in his reflection, it seems like a simple thing but it won't be easy. Sometimes, when I come home after Daily Mass, an appointment, or an outing, I just want to stay home for the rest of the day. Especially in the winter when it's cold and the wind is blowing, I just want to stay home. I like being in my little prayer corner, but there are so many distractions. Sitting in front of the Tabernacle, whether the Blessed Sacrament is exposed or not, gives me clarity and helps me focus on HIM. 

I'm finding that Anna the prophetess is currently a kindred spirit. While I'm not going to live in the church, I have set myself up to spend a lot of time there through Adoration. Could it really be that simple? That He only wants my time? I'm at a point in my life when I am able to give Him the time He is asking for. I've said many times that if people only knew the graces received by spending an hour with Jesus in Adoration, the chapels would be overflowing. There were times in my life when I felt stretched to give Him that much, and I'm sure He understood. But now is the time. Now is the time to spend time with Him, to get to know Him, and to understand His plan for me. 

Finding Joy before Christmas Day

 

Usually, before Advent, I have a "dry season". Then, while I am reflecting on the Daily Readings or using a Bible Study, something clicks and I exit that season. This usually happens somewhere in the middle of Advent. This year was different. I didn't "snap out of it" until the week before December 25. Last year, I used Bishop Baron's Advent Reflections and Fr. Mark Toups Rejoice! Advent Meditations with Joseph. This year I again used the reflections from Bishop Baron and used the Rejoice! Advent Meditations with the Holy Family. Last year's meditations grabbed me from the get-go so I was expecting the same thing this year. Only it didn't happen. Maybe I pushed myself into expecting to be instantly transformed into the glow of Advent. I just couldn't get into the Holy Family. As I reflected, I realized why: it was making me take a hard look at my marriage and to see where I'm failing in my relationship. On the flip-side, it also made me see how I can make my marriage better. I realized I'm not giving myself as I should. Wouldn't we all love to have a marriage like Mary & Joseph's? 

The closer we got to Christmas, the more joy I felt. I played my flute for the 5:00 pm Christmas Eve Mass. When I arrived, snow was falling and just beginning to stick. (This is East Tennessee...a white Christmas is virtually unheard of!) The snow fell all during Mass and I left to this beautiful scene:

It was 6:00 pm, so the Angelus Bells were ringing, it was still snowing, and most of the people were gone so it was quiet. I was reminded of a Christmas of my youth when it snowed on Christmas Eve. The excitement of the snow and Christmas was incredible. I don't know how else to describe it...pretty indescribable. I felt joy that I hadn't felt in years...not since my mother passed away. I felt such comfort thinking about that Christmas. 

On my way home, I drove past the tree in the park next to our house. We don't get to see this very often (because...East TN!)

I made my way home and this sight greeted me:

My youngest son (who is 26) had no idea I hadn't felt joy during Advent. I came home to these candles on the wall and dinner ready (except for 1 thing that I had to do). My heart was exploding at that point! My middle son ended up surprising us by flying in from Louisiana later that evening. I was able to see all 3 of my boys on Christmas Day. I can't believe I didn't take a single picture of them, though!

 My mother passed away 6 1/2 years ago. Her birthday was on Christmas Day and she spent a good part of her life as the organist at church, so our Advents & Christmases were filled with music and the hustle and bustle of the liturgical season. My father passed away almost 4 years ago. It's only been the past couple of years that I even wanted to acknowledge Christmas. This Christmas will definitely go down in my book as one of, if not the best, ever. I definitely felt the joy of Christmas this year!

What Shall I Bring?

Last Wednesday at RCIA, during the reflection of the upcoming Gospel, I kept thinking about the movie "The Little Drummer Boy". The 3 Kings (or Magi, or Wise men) brought Jesus precious gifts from their region, "normal" gifts for a king.
During the first reading, Isaiah spells it all out:

Nations shall walk by your light,

and kings by your shining radiance.

                                         Isaiah 60:3

It is just amazing to me all of the prophecies in the Old Testament. Why haven't I noticed it before now? Then there's this also from the first reading:

bearing gold and frankincense

                                       Isaiah 60:6

The gospel tells the "story" of the Magi and how Herod tried to trick them into telling him where Jesus was. The Magi were warned in a dream so they left without reporting to Herod. Has anyone else noticed how powerful dreams were back then? Incredible! It makes me want to start paying better attention to mine, for sure.

If you were going to see the Baby Jesus, what would you take him? This question was posed to us at RCIA by Sister. Someone jokingly said, "diapers...you can't have enough diapers". If you're a parent, you know that's true. But, being serious...what would you bring?

The Meditation Song for Mass was "In the Bleak Midwinter" (Gustav T. Holst and Christina G. Rossetti). The last verse says it all:

 What can I give him, poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb; 

If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part; Yet

what I can I give him: give my heart.

We may be the richest people on the planet and have more than enough material items, but if we don't give our heart we've given him nothing. That is all he asks of us: to give him our hearts. 

One way we can do that is by using our talents for the Church. We all have a talent. I'm not talking about the "artsy" talent. As St. Caesarius of Arles said, it may be the talent of devotion or chastity. It may be dedicating our lives to live as the saints did. It may be doing our best to live without sin. If you aren't involved in your parish, get involved. Look through the different ministries your parish offers and find one that suits your talent. Greeters have a special talent to make people feel welcome as they walk through the door. Eucharistic Ministers have a talent to serve the parishioners. You don't have to be a musician; you don't have to have a lot of time to volunteer. You only have to have the willingness to bring your talent to the feet of Baby Jesus.

I'm Not Ready

I'm not ready for Christmas. My heart's not ready to rejoice in the birth of Jesus. This has been a tough year for me; this will be the first Christmas without either of my parents. Somehow I knew that last Christmas would be the last one with my father, but when you actually live through it, it hits hard. On top of that, my oldest son is clear across the country. This won't be the first Christmas he hasn't been home, but he's always been closer to home.
I'm trying; I really am. Here are some things I'm doing to attempt to get my heart ready:

--- 1 ---

I've attempted to get back into the routine of reading the daily mass readings and reflecting, as well as getting back into the habit of daily prayer. That meant updating my prayer list a bit, but that in itself was a bit of a prayer. I don't seem to be getting much out of the reflections, but I know I have to keep trying and eventually, I will.

--- 2 ---

I've kept up with Dynamic Catholic's Best Advent Ever. This year, I received a book in the mail. Every day, there is a chapter to read that goes along with the daily reflection. The book, Beautiful Hope, is speaking to me loudly right now. So maybe I'm not supposed to be getting much out of the readings right now.
If you aren't familiar with Dynamic Catholic or Best Advent Ever, check it out. During Lent, there will also be a Best Lent Ever.

--- 3 ---

I had to get a box off to my son, so I made some of my traditional candy for him. I spent a day making 3 different kinds of candy. This is severely scaled-down for me. When the boys were little, I would spend a whole day making candy and another whole day baking cookies & other goodies. I looked at a cookie recipe and thought about it, but then decided against it.

--- 4 ---

I baked. It was without Christmas music, though. I usually have the music blaring as I'm working in the kitchen. This year, though, it was quiet. I think I needed that quietness of an empty house with no extraneous noise.

--- 5 ---

I went to confession. In the past, my parish has had a penance service; however, this is the second year that the priests have been available the 2 Wednesday evenings leading up to Christmas Day. I think I like this better.

--- 6 ---

I decorated the house, even though I wasn't really "into" it. I hoped it would get me more into the "spirit". It has helped some, but this Advent definitely has a different feel to it.

--- 7 ---

I participated in the Catholic Sistas Advent Photo Challenge...up until 2 days ago, anyway! I have to catch up! If you don't know what that is: Check out their website. They usually do a photo challenge during Advent and again during Lent. A word is provided every day, and you interpret that word however you want. Take a picture and post it on Instagram, Facebook, and/or Twitter.  Use the hashtag provided. It's quite fun to search the hashtag & see how everyone else interpreted the word for the day.

Yes, this year is completely different than past years. For the past 3 years (following the passing of my mother) I picked up my father and took him to Midnight Mass. Sitting next to my daddy at Mass last year, somehow I knew that would be the last one. He's celebrating in Heaven with my mother by his side, and that makes me happier than you could ever know. It's a "new kind of normal", and it's going to take some getting used to.
What do you do to get your heart ready for Christmas?

This post was written with the intent of participating in 7 Quick Takes hosted by the amazing Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum; however, it would appear that Kelly is taking December off, so I'm doing this one solo!

{SQT} Advent Take-Aways

At the end of the first entry in my Blessed is She Advent Journal, I wrote "I want PEACE". By the 3rd Sunday, I had found it. The weird thing is that the night before, I had a dream, and I had a physical memory of the dream. At least, I think it was a dream. I don't know how to describe the feeling, except to say that it felt almost like a panic attack. In my dream, I immediately said, "Jesus, I love you" followed by "Jesus, Mary, & Joseph, pray for me". I woke up the next morning feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I actually felt really good. I felt good about my oldest son moving to the West Coast. I felt good about not focusing on "things" this Advent. I just felt...GOOD.

As I told a friend of mine, I'm still trying to get the hang of this "Empty Nest" gig. Letting go is extremely hard for me; I'm a total control freak. But, I've really come to embrace "God's got this" over the past 4 weeks. Man, these weeks went by quickly! I get so dependent on the "special times" of the Liturgical Calendar that I don't want it to end. I've got to keep working at getting closer to God during "Ordinary Times". 

I always thought the beginning of Matthew was one of (if not the) the most boring chapters in the Bible, with the list of genealogy. I've never understood why that was included until I read the reflections. Now I understand that it's to underscore that Jesus didn't just come from nothing...he has a family tree that is similar to just about everyone's on this planet. There are saints, and there are sinners; there are murderers and prostitutes, but there are also good, saintly people.

We all know that Jesus was born in a manger...a feeding trough. It wasn't until this Advent that I put the feeding trough and the table of God together. We come to that Table through the Eucharist. (And that only took me 54 years to realize!)

I loved the readings that had to do with signs. We are encouraged to not look too hard for signs, but rather just trust that God will take care of us. God gave people signs, but they didn't see them. He sent the largest, most blatant sign of all, but people didn't see. In fact, some don't see it today. 

The 2 words that summarize this Advent for me are "Trust" and "Gratitude". Elizabeth & Zechariah trusted God, John the Baptist trusted God, Mary trusted God, Joseph trusted God. All of these people had plans that weren't God's. Yet, in the end, they didn't fight His plan or go against it. They trusted in Him, and they were grateful to Him, even when His plan was tough to follow. 

Last, but certainly not least, this Advent taught me to take a look at past Advents and readjust my attitude. For the past 28 years (at least), I've tried to have a perfect Christmas for my boys. And in doing so, I think I missed out on teaching them what it's really all about. Sure, we always had an Advent Wreath and a Nativity Set, and we went to Mass. I wanted them to have the memories that I have of Christmas: the baking, the decorating, the gifts. Last year, one of my sons suggested that we skip the gifts this year; they aren't important to him. Another one of my sons told me a few weeks ago that he felt like Christmas was just another day in the last month of the year. That really cut to the bone, but he did immediately say that he guessed it was an important day. I just have to keep praying that he'll come back around some day. 

I spent this Advent getting ready for Christmas...spiritually. I woke up early, read the Daily Readings & some reflections, said morning prayers, and wrote in my journal. I also viewed the clips from Best Advent Ever from Dynamic Catholic. I feel prepared, yet unprepared for Christmas at the same time. I didn't get stressed about not doing this year; I didn't get stressed about not buying. This has definitely been my best Advent yet. 

I'm linking up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes. 

{SQT} I Refuse

This year, I refuse to get caught up in the craziness of the secular Christmas Season. Over the past year (especially since last Lent), I have revamped my lifestyle of watching tv for hours on end. That's not to say that I haven't binge-watched a few shows (Longmire & Vikings top the list), but I've really cut back on how much I watch tv. I try to catch up on some shows when I can ("This is Us" tops that list), but I do that through Hulu. Our tv is rarely on. I think that's helped cut down on the craziness.

I refuse to buy the boys "stuff" just for the sake of them having something under the tree. Traditionally, they get a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a pair of nice winter socks. They always know they're getting those. My boys are now men; money is the preferred gift so they can get what they want. I learned from last year when I gave my oldest son the exact (except for the color) same clothes as the year before. We took everything back and he got something that he wanted/needed. 

I refuse to get caught up in baking/candy making. In years' past, I would spend 2 whole days baking and making candy, just so the boys would have an honored tradition that was passed down from my mother. I will have to make something for my next door neighbor, who supplies me with pecans so I'll make, a specific candy for her, but other than that, I'm really scaling down. 

This is some of the what I usually make...just a small portion!

I refuse to worry about my boys. As I said, they're now men, and 2 of them won't be home for Christmas. Over the past couple of weeks, I've taken the idea that "God has this" to heart. As one of the Sisters said, "He knows what's going to happen; how they're going to mess up and how they're going to fix it, so there's no sense in worrying." 

I refuse to fret over not having a "perfect Christmas". I've been trying for 32 years and it hasn't happened. There's no such thing. At least with only 1 of my boys home for Christmas, I know that the tree will remain intact. There will be no wrestling next to the tree. 

I refuse to stress over the house not being decorated. I just put the tree up last Tuesday, and put the lights on it. I finished decorating it on Wednesday, and found the skirt on Thursday. I put out a few things around the house, but the decorating is sparse this year. I still have my fall wreath & Thanksgiving flags up. (Don't judge!) Since I'm not putting out all of my decorations, I'll have to look through totes to see if I can find my Christmas ones. My mailbox cover is, at this minute, on the living room floor. It'll eventually make it to the mailbox.

I refuse to get angry over family matters...on both my side and my husband's side. I will enjoy spending Christmas Eve/Day with my husband and my 91 year old father. My Daddy will come up for our traditional Danish Christmas Eve Dinner and again for Christmas Day Brunch. It's going to be a quiet one, so I'm going to enjoy it. 

As the years have gone by I'm realizing what's important. This will be the 3rd Christmas without my mom (who was born on Christmas Day and whose name is Chris); last year was harder than the first. I will not allow myself to be blue like I was last year. Family means the world to me, and, even though things are a little stressed with both my family & my husband's family, I will be happy this Christmas Day and enjoy it with my husband, father, and youngest son.

I'm joining Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes. It's a day late, but I refuse to get stressed about it! 😁

Epiphany

Today we celebrate Epiphany...a few days early. Epiphany is actually on Wed.; the Church moves the celebration up to the Sunday prior. It makes me sad to see pictures on Instagram & Facebook of people taking down their decorations the day after Christmas. Christmas begins with Christmas Day. We spent Advent getting ready for the birth of our Lord; we take the 12 days of Christmas to celebrate his birth. We are called to not get sucked into the commercialism of Christmas but to rejoice that our Savior is born.
The star took center stage during today's homily. The star that the 3 Wise Men followed from the east, looking for this little baby who would save mankind still burns bright for us today. We are called to follow the light toward Jesus.According to the Priest, the Kings needed to witness God in the world. In following the light toward Jesus, we are to 1) look for the Lord, 2) follow the light, and 3) see the reality of God.
The 3 Kings brought gifts with them. The gift of myrrh caught my attention. The other Priest in our parish said that without Easter there wouldn't be Christmas. The gift of myrrh goes right along with that quote, since myrrh was used for burials. How did the Kings know what to bring as gifts? Rather prophetic, I'd say!
To end, Father left us with this statement and question:
We are called to be a light or a star and to lead others to Jesus. When someone looks at me, do they see the light of Christ?