Advent: A Time to Slow Down

https://www.saint-faustina.org/advent-is-approaching/

On November 30, the day before the first day of Advent, I was shocked to watch a local meteorologist shame the weekend news anchor because her Christmas Tree wasn't up. I wanted to yell, "No! Don't rush it!"

Be Prepared

This year I'm getting the message to slow down and not rush through Advent. I've heard multiple times through Catholic Radio and other Catholic sources to use the first 2 weeks for penance. Truly make it a "mini-Lent". I heard one man on a Catholic show suggest that if you put your tree up at the beginning of Advent, wait until Gaudete Sunday (the 3rd Sunday of Advent) to decorate it. What a great way to remind ourselves that to achieve our ultimate goal (to reach heaven), we first have to be stripped of our "garments" and made new in order to adorn the heavenly garb. We have to strip ourselves of our earthly possessions and our sins so we will be worthy to be properly clothed to meet our Lord and Savior. Just as in the Parable of the Wedding Banquet (Matthew 22:1-14), we must have our souls prepared when we meet our Maker and adorn our "wedding robe". 

Going Against Society

During his homily for the first week of Advent, my parish priest explained it perfectly: We live in a world where immediate gratification is the norm. There is no such thing as waiting. There is no such thing as anticipation. Society wants things now, and that's when it is received. He continued telling the congregation that "Jesus dares us to wait patiently in prayer, to be attentive and alert, to make sure our hearts are paid attention to, and to believe in peace. The Church dares us to be patient and hope in God's promises to the world. " 

It's so tempting to give in to what society is telling us: Do it now, you don't have to wait for anything when you can have anything you want right now. Jesus waits for us in the Tabernacle. He is there, waiting for us to come to Him in prayer. He is waiting to have conversations with us. He is paying attention to our hearts, to what we need, and to what we are grateful for. He is there. He may not give us the immediate answer we're looking for, but I know that when I'm sitting in front of Him, looking at Him and having Him look at me (St. John Vianney), I am at peace. God hasn't given me everything I've asked for but I still find peace in being in the church and in front of the Tabernacle/Monstrance. If Jesus constantly waits for us, can't I wait for Him? Can I give him 4 weeks of praying and waiting? 

A Lack of Anticipation

Because of instant gratification, it seems that kids today always have Christmas. Even though my kids are grown, the last few years of their childhood had me scratching my head, wondering why they weren't excited about Christmas and their presents. Then I understood that it was because I "gifted" them with things throughout the year. There was no anticipation. They didn't have to wait for things they wanted because I gave it to them when they asked. (Well, not everything, but a lot of things.) If I could go back and do some things over, there would be some major changes. Here in the USA, we have some wonderful conveniences but what have we done to the next generation? And the one after that, and so on. 

That leads me back to why there is a lack of anticipation during Advent. Christmas is up in stores the day after (and in some cases, before) Halloween, jumping right over Thanksgiving. Trees are decorated in houses on Thanksgiving weekend and taken down on December 26th. Some people say they are tired of Christmas before the Christmas Season even arrives! I have noticed that more people are keeping Christmas Decorations up until at least Epiphany or even longer, and that makes me smile. I like to think that those people know what they're doing. 

Patience People

Most people understand that there are 2 comings of Christ: His birth, and the 2nd Coming. Fr. Mike Schmitz, in his First Sunday of Advent Homily, reminds us that there is a third: Jesus comes to us now. This is something we should always be preparing for. How are we going to receive Him? We should prepare to recognize how He comes to us daily. Open your eyes; pay attention to daily happenings. I think you'll be amazed at how many times you'll see Him in your life. As a Catholic, what a precious gift I'm given in that I can receive Him daily through the Eucharist at Mass. He not only comes to me daily through the Eucharist, but on the days I'm not able to attend Mass, I know He's still here with me. In that way, I am receiving immediate gratification by knowing He is always with me. The big arrival is yet to come: when I meet Jesus face to face either at the 2nd Coming or at the end of my earthly life. This is why we're called to have patience. He is coming. Don't give up hope. Continue to anticipate the celebration of His birth by praying and not rushing it. Slow down. Give your children time to anticipate Christmas and then let them revel in the Christmas Season.  

Finding Joy before Christmas Day

 

Usually, before Advent, I have a "dry season". Then, while I am reflecting on the Daily Readings or using a Bible Study, something clicks and I exit that season. This usually happens somewhere in the middle of Advent. This year was different. I didn't "snap out of it" until the week before December 25. Last year, I used Bishop Baron's Advent Reflections and Fr. Mark Toups Rejoice! Advent Meditations with Joseph. This year I again used the reflections from Bishop Baron and used the Rejoice! Advent Meditations with the Holy Family. Last year's meditations grabbed me from the get-go so I was expecting the same thing this year. Only it didn't happen. Maybe I pushed myself into expecting to be instantly transformed into the glow of Advent. I just couldn't get into the Holy Family. As I reflected, I realized why: it was making me take a hard look at my marriage and to see where I'm failing in my relationship. On the flip-side, it also made me see how I can make my marriage better. I realized I'm not giving myself as I should. Wouldn't we all love to have a marriage like Mary & Joseph's? 

The closer we got to Christmas, the more joy I felt. I played my flute for the 5:00 pm Christmas Eve Mass. When I arrived, snow was falling and just beginning to stick. (This is East Tennessee...a white Christmas is virtually unheard of!) The snow fell all during Mass and I left to this beautiful scene:

It was 6:00 pm, so the Angelus Bells were ringing, it was still snowing, and most of the people were gone so it was quiet. I was reminded of a Christmas of my youth when it snowed on Christmas Eve. The excitement of the snow and Christmas was incredible. I don't know how else to describe it...pretty indescribable. I felt joy that I hadn't felt in years...not since my mother passed away. I felt such comfort thinking about that Christmas. 

On my way home, I drove past the tree in the park next to our house. We don't get to see this very often (because...East TN!)

I made my way home and this sight greeted me:

My youngest son (who is 26) had no idea I hadn't felt joy during Advent. I came home to these candles on the wall and dinner ready (except for 1 thing that I had to do). My heart was exploding at that point! My middle son ended up surprising us by flying in from Louisiana later that evening. I was able to see all 3 of my boys on Christmas Day. I can't believe I didn't take a single picture of them, though!

 My mother passed away 6 1/2 years ago. Her birthday was on Christmas Day and she spent a good part of her life as the organist at church, so our Advents & Christmases were filled with music and the hustle and bustle of the liturgical season. My father passed away almost 4 years ago. It's only been the past couple of years that I even wanted to acknowledge Christmas. This Christmas will definitely go down in my book as one of, if not the best, ever. I definitely felt the joy of Christmas this year!

Reordering Your Life

This Advent, I am using the book Rejoice! Advent Meditations with Joseph by Fr. Mark Toups. This book is proving to be extremely powerful in not only getting to know Joseph better but also in doing some real soul-searching. One entry, in particular, laid heavy on my heart. I've thought of it before, but seeing it on paper helped me to understand what I've been feeling and what I am called to do.

Figuring it out

What is the order of your life? Fr. Toups indicates that most men order their lives with the mission being first, followed by identity, then relationship. The same could be said for women as well. What would happen if we changed our order? If Relationship with God came first? If we put the relationship with God first, then identify from God and mission for God would follow.

It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? If "mission" is first, my identity becomes based on it. If "relationship with God" is first, the mission refocuses. We become who we are because of whose we are. (pages 9-10) When putting it into the perspective of my occupation, I am still a Speech Pathologist, but that ends up as secondary. Instead of my occupation coming first, it's last. My main mission is to be a Child of God and to live accordingly. The mission is also the identity. It all begins with Relationship and having that focused, strong relationship.

Reordering = Refocusing

If I reorder my life and put Relationship with God first, every aspect of my life shifts. I'm no longer spending time away from my husband doing work-related things. My focus goes back to him and paying attention to him. I'm no longer stressed at work because my main focus is on God. That's not to say that I don't do my job to the best of my ability; rather, I recognize that the source of my ability is God. I think I actually am more focused at work when I put my relationship with God first. I'm more productive because I've put my life in the right perspective; as soon as I leave school my focus is on my husband and doing what I need to do at home.

So...how about you? Is it time to reorder your life? What changes do you expect to happen? As I wrote that last question, I wondered how many unexpected changes will also happen. Put your relationship with God first and see how He works in your life!

I'm Not Ready

I'm not ready for Christmas. My heart's not ready to rejoice in the birth of Jesus. This has been a tough year for me; this will be the first Christmas without either of my parents. Somehow I knew that last Christmas would be the last one with my father, but when you actually live through it, it hits hard. On top of that, my oldest son is clear across the country. This won't be the first Christmas he hasn't been home, but he's always been closer to home.
I'm trying; I really am. Here are some things I'm doing to attempt to get my heart ready:

--- 1 ---

I've attempted to get back into the routine of reading the daily mass readings and reflecting, as well as getting back into the habit of daily prayer. That meant updating my prayer list a bit, but that in itself was a bit of a prayer. I don't seem to be getting much out of the reflections, but I know I have to keep trying and eventually, I will.

--- 2 ---

I've kept up with Dynamic Catholic's Best Advent Ever. This year, I received a book in the mail. Every day, there is a chapter to read that goes along with the daily reflection. The book, Beautiful Hope, is speaking to me loudly right now. So maybe I'm not supposed to be getting much out of the readings right now.
If you aren't familiar with Dynamic Catholic or Best Advent Ever, check it out. During Lent, there will also be a Best Lent Ever.

--- 3 ---

I had to get a box off to my son, so I made some of my traditional candy for him. I spent a day making 3 different kinds of candy. This is severely scaled-down for me. When the boys were little, I would spend a whole day making candy and another whole day baking cookies & other goodies. I looked at a cookie recipe and thought about it, but then decided against it.

--- 4 ---

I baked. It was without Christmas music, though. I usually have the music blaring as I'm working in the kitchen. This year, though, it was quiet. I think I needed that quietness of an empty house with no extraneous noise.

--- 5 ---

I went to confession. In the past, my parish has had a penance service; however, this is the second year that the priests have been available the 2 Wednesday evenings leading up to Christmas Day. I think I like this better.

--- 6 ---

I decorated the house, even though I wasn't really "into" it. I hoped it would get me more into the "spirit". It has helped some, but this Advent definitely has a different feel to it.

--- 7 ---

I participated in the Catholic Sistas Advent Photo Challenge...up until 2 days ago, anyway! I have to catch up! If you don't know what that is: Check out their website. They usually do a photo challenge during Advent and again during Lent. A word is provided every day, and you interpret that word however you want. Take a picture and post it on Instagram, Facebook, and/or Twitter.  Use the hashtag provided. It's quite fun to search the hashtag & see how everyone else interpreted the word for the day.

Yes, this year is completely different than past years. For the past 3 years (following the passing of my mother) I picked up my father and took him to Midnight Mass. Sitting next to my daddy at Mass last year, somehow I knew that would be the last one. He's celebrating in Heaven with my mother by his side, and that makes me happier than you could ever know. It's a "new kind of normal", and it's going to take some getting used to.
What do you do to get your heart ready for Christmas?

This post was written with the intent of participating in 7 Quick Takes hosted by the amazing Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum; however, it would appear that Kelly is taking December off, so I'm doing this one solo!

{SQT} Advent Take-Aways

At the end of the first entry in my Blessed is She Advent Journal, I wrote "I want PEACE". By the 3rd Sunday, I had found it. The weird thing is that the night before, I had a dream, and I had a physical memory of the dream. At least, I think it was a dream. I don't know how to describe the feeling, except to say that it felt almost like a panic attack. In my dream, I immediately said, "Jesus, I love you" followed by "Jesus, Mary, & Joseph, pray for me". I woke up the next morning feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I actually felt really good. I felt good about my oldest son moving to the West Coast. I felt good about not focusing on "things" this Advent. I just felt...GOOD.

As I told a friend of mine, I'm still trying to get the hang of this "Empty Nest" gig. Letting go is extremely hard for me; I'm a total control freak. But, I've really come to embrace "God's got this" over the past 4 weeks. Man, these weeks went by quickly! I get so dependent on the "special times" of the Liturgical Calendar that I don't want it to end. I've got to keep working at getting closer to God during "Ordinary Times". 

I always thought the beginning of Matthew was one of (if not the) the most boring chapters in the Bible, with the list of genealogy. I've never understood why that was included until I read the reflections. Now I understand that it's to underscore that Jesus didn't just come from nothing...he has a family tree that is similar to just about everyone's on this planet. There are saints, and there are sinners; there are murderers and prostitutes, but there are also good, saintly people.

We all know that Jesus was born in a manger...a feeding trough. It wasn't until this Advent that I put the feeding trough and the table of God together. We come to that Table through the Eucharist. (And that only took me 54 years to realize!)

I loved the readings that had to do with signs. We are encouraged to not look too hard for signs, but rather just trust that God will take care of us. God gave people signs, but they didn't see them. He sent the largest, most blatant sign of all, but people didn't see. In fact, some don't see it today. 

The 2 words that summarize this Advent for me are "Trust" and "Gratitude". Elizabeth & Zechariah trusted God, John the Baptist trusted God, Mary trusted God, Joseph trusted God. All of these people had plans that weren't God's. Yet, in the end, they didn't fight His plan or go against it. They trusted in Him, and they were grateful to Him, even when His plan was tough to follow. 

Last, but certainly not least, this Advent taught me to take a look at past Advents and readjust my attitude. For the past 28 years (at least), I've tried to have a perfect Christmas for my boys. And in doing so, I think I missed out on teaching them what it's really all about. Sure, we always had an Advent Wreath and a Nativity Set, and we went to Mass. I wanted them to have the memories that I have of Christmas: the baking, the decorating, the gifts. Last year, one of my sons suggested that we skip the gifts this year; they aren't important to him. Another one of my sons told me a few weeks ago that he felt like Christmas was just another day in the last month of the year. That really cut to the bone, but he did immediately say that he guessed it was an important day. I just have to keep praying that he'll come back around some day. 

I spent this Advent getting ready for Christmas...spiritually. I woke up early, read the Daily Readings & some reflections, said morning prayers, and wrote in my journal. I also viewed the clips from Best Advent Ever from Dynamic Catholic. I feel prepared, yet unprepared for Christmas at the same time. I didn't get stressed about not doing this year; I didn't get stressed about not buying. This has definitely been my best Advent yet. 

I'm linking up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes. 

{Fourth Sunday of Advent} UNBELIEVABLE!

Photo by Ben White

Have you ever stopped to think about how truly unbelievable the Birth of Christ is? Here is this innocent little baby who is our Savior! So many things had to come together before this happened. Mary had to say "yes". Joseph had to have enough faith to say "yes". One little "no" and history would have been different. 

What struck me while reading today's Readings, was how things that were foretold in the Old Testament came to fruition. In the First Reading (Isaiah 7:10-14), we're told that there will be a sign, a virgin birth whose name will be Emmanuel. Mary's and Joseph's yes fulfilled that sign.

The reflections that I read centered around signs. One that I read suggested that, at times, we are so caught up in looking for signs that we forget to give the control to God. I keep saying this in recent posts, but I'm really trying to live this in my daily life: God knows all. He knows what we're going to do, how we're going to mess up, and how we're going to fix it. So there's no reason to worry. We have to give it all to God. With one son traveling across the country and another one staying at university for break, reminding myself of this has kept me from getting down and from worrying. I'm strangely completely at peace with everything. 

ePriest put things in perspective for me. Joseph's plans were completely shattered by Mary's news. He more than likely had their life planned out: he would work in his carpentry shop, Mary would keep the house, and they would have lots of children in the years to come. What a blow this must have been to him. How terrible he must have felt! And then he has this dream. He must have said, "Wait. How are my plans changing? I'm going to do what? Mary is going to be the mother of whom? I'm going to raise whom?" Yet, he had the faith to say "yes" and do as God asked. 

The video reflection from USCCB by Father Greg Friedman told 2 pieces of trivia (as it were) about today's Gospel (Matthew 1:18-24): Luke told the story of Mary's Annunciation; Matthew tells us about Joseph's. None of Joseph's words are recorded, only his actions. This is a perfect example of actions speaking louder than words. 

The Deacon during the Homily asked us how many times during the day do we say "That's unbelievable"? I know that I say it quite often. Now think about how many times we say that same thing when talking about our Lord. Not very many, huh? But if we stop to really think about Jesus' birth, His life, and His death, it truly is unbelievable. 

The next time you say "That's unbelievable", think about our Lord. Think about how truly unbelievable He really is, and how much faith it requires to believe. And, as the Deacon said, if someone asks you how you can believe, give them this answer: "God said it, God did it, and that's enough for me."

{Second Sunday in Advent}: HE KNOWS

As I read the Readings for today, the above verse jumped out at me. How many times do I look at someone and immediately make a judgment? There's a lady in my parish who used to sit a couple of rows ahead of me during Mass. I would see her look around, watching people as they came in. In my head, I could hear her make comments about them. My reaction was to think that this woman was really nosy, and more interested in people than what was going on at the altar.  And then I met her and spent a little bit of time with her. I had the opportunity to see what an absolutely beautiful person she is. I saw her come into Mass Sat. evening, and I thought about my wrong first impression of her. This was before I read and heard the Readings. Even during the reading during Mass, I didn't catch it. Then, Sunday morning as I read the Readings at my kitchen table, this hit home:
Not by appearance shall he judge, nor by hearsay shall he decide.  (Isaiah 11:3)
It's so very easy to be swayed by someone else's opinion, and I'm the world's worst at that. We are urged to think for ourselves and not be influenced by what others think. 

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to think in harmony with one another. (Romans 15: 5)
Jenna Hines wrote today's reflection for Blessed is She. The target of the reflection is to be in harmony with other people. Not to change their thoughts, just to work on yourself and let God worry about the big picture. Yesterday, during an Advent Reflection at a nearby convent, Sister mentioned that there is no need for us to worry about anything; God is in control. He knows all: He knows when we're going to mess up, and He knows how we're going to fix it. www.USCCB.org offers this explanation of that line: 
[15:5] Think in harmony: a Greco-Roman ideal. Not rigid uniformity of thought and expression but thoughtful consideration of other people’s views finds expression here.
Isn't that perfect for right now, considering what's happening post-election?

Therefore every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.  ( Matthew 3:10)
We are called to live out our lives for God. We are called to evangelize and to go out into the world and proclaim God's word, if not by our words, then by our actions. It all goes back to the question: If we were on trial for being a Christian, would we be found guilty?

For the Gospel's reflections, both ePriest and my parish priest explained that when in the desert, the Israelites learned to depend on God. When they were in the desert, they had to give all control to God. Tying the Gospel in with the other Readings, all 3 have the component of letting go and putting everything in God's hands. Man, that's difficult! There are things that go on in my life, with my adult children, that I want to control. I end up getting all stressed out about it because I think I have to be in control, when I should lift it up to God. HE's the one in control. He knows how things are going to be "fixed". When I think I have to be in control, I get physically sick to my stomach. As I learn to hand the problems up to God, I can feel that sinking feeling and the anxiety being lifted.
ePriest mentioned that John's baptism helped get rid of old attitudes and old ways of thinking. This Advent, my goal is to let go of my old attitudes and old ways of thinking I'm in control, and to LET GOD.

{SQT} Make This Advent Your Best Yet

I'm linking up with Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum for Seven Quick Takes.

It's Advent. Just look around and you'll know that it's not Ordinary Time any more! Need some ideas on how to make this Advent the best yet?

Journals. I got one from Blessed is She, but I've also seen one from Heart of Mary Women Fellowship. Heck, you can even make your own. 

I printed off the Daily Readings for Advent, and added a few lines to each day. I take a few minutes at the beginning of the day, read, and reflect. I also get a few reflections in my email to get me going. I'll make notes, highlight, and/or circle. 

Advent Photo Challenge. Catholic Sistas is challenging us to post a picture/day.

Check your bulletin. My Parish is doing some cool things this Advent. Check and see what yours is doing; take the time to go.

Spend an hour a week in Eucharistic Adoration. Try it; you'll like it.

Attend or participate in a Taizé Prayer Service. I had the opportunity to participate with the choir last Monday. It was beautiful, even with the wind howling, causing some very strange sounds in the church. Jesus even swung on the crucifix a little bit. 

It's a prayer service with songs that are short & repetitive. It began with a sung prayer followed by a Responsorial Psalm, Gospel Reading, and another sung prayer. Then, we had 10 minutes of silent prayer followed by Intercessions, the Our Father, another prayer, and 2 more sung prayers. It was just so peaceful; I left the church with such peace, even though the wind was so nasty.

Take time to learn about your church. I'm talking about the building. Check and see if there's some literature about the building of the church; talk to someone who knows the history. 

Subscribe to special Advent programs that will be delivered to your email. Dynamic Catholic delivers short videos to your email every morning during Advent through The Best Advent Ever program. You'll get a very short video (around 2-3 minutes) that will give you something to think about during the day. Bishop Robert Barron has free daily Advent Reflections.

"He who sings prays twice". (St. Augustine) The Vigil Project has a 7-part video series going on right now. You can sign up for reminders of new videos to be delivered to your inbox.

1st Sunday of Advent: STAY AWAKE

The Gospel today reminds us to stay awake...to prepare ourselves. Much as we prepare our houses for the holidays, we should prepare our souls and our hearts for the coming of the Lord.
Advent is such a beautiful time. It's a new Liturgical Year; a time for another chance to get ready for the Lord. Much like the Calendar New Year is a time for resolutions and a chance to start over, Advent gives us the chance to do the same, but in a spiritual sense. 
The days are shorter, it gets darker earlier...but there are the candles from the Advent Wreath making us aware of the light that is to come. It's a reminder that hope is there. We don't know the hour or the day; we have to stay awake and be ready.
I'm ready to be re-energized and get out of my spiritual drought. I'm ready to get in spiritual shape for the coming of our Lord. I'm ready for Ordinary Time to be over, because it really was just "ordinary" for me. 
The priest spoke of the difference between expectations and reality. As we anticipate an event, we have an expectation of what it will be like; however, the reality usually doesn't live up to the expectations. When my boys were growing up, I expected to have perfect Christmases. I wanted everything to be perfect; from the meals to the presents. I pictured the family watching Christmas movies, eating popcorn, and getting along. The reality is that we haven't had a perfect Christmas; I truly believe there is no such thing. There were years that the tree was almost knocked down from the wrestling,  dinners that didn't turn out right, and the boys were late for Christmas Eve Dinner. All the preparation and it didn't turn out perfectly. Looking back, had I focused on truly preparing myself and the boys for Christmas, maybe all of that wouldn't have mattered. 
Much like preparing for a big event, it is necessary to prepare ourselves for the big day...the day when we will meet Jesus face-to-face. What will it be like to hear him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21)? Isn't that something we all would like to hear? 
It is necessary that we stay awake and be prepared. Advent is the perfect time to begin the preparation. We're all travelers on the journey...are you prepared?