It Takes Time & Effort

When my husband & I were on vacation, we went to a local parish for Mass. As we walked in to find a place, I almost chose a “half pew” directly behind a longer one, but we ended up sitting in the next pew back. A group of what appeared to be college kids ended up sitting in the 2 pews ahead of us. It was obvious that only 3 of them were Catholic. My first tip-off was that one of the young men who sat in front of us walked in carrying something that looked like chocolate milk, and they all ranked of cigarette smoke. I took a deep breath and thought, “Well, at least they’re taking time out to go to Mass.” The young man with the drink took a couple of swigs during Mass, and at one point, handed it to a young lady in front of him. She took a swig as well. The thing is: this is one of the young ladies who is Catholic, and this was right before communion. She then proceeded to put a piece of gum in her mouth. You have no idea how badly I wanted to say something to her.

The disrespect was just unbearable, and it made me extremely sad. Yes, I should have been paying closer attention to the Mass, but when it happens right under your nose & the Catholic young lady keeps turning around to talk to the young man behind her, it is very difficult to not see it.

Had I thought ahead, I should have shown the young man with the drink where he could follow along in the missalette. He honestly seemed to be paying attention and, if he had the proper direction, would have been more respectful as far as the drink. I actually felt a little sorry for him when, after the Lord’s Prayer, he kept going with the Protestant ending. His Catholic friends should have prepped him for that.

It’s so hard not to judge

Now, about the young lady who took a swig & popped some gum in her mouth: I soooo wanted to say something to her, but had to keep saying to myself “Don’t judge; God will take care of her.” I said a small prayer asking God to direct her. But, man, it was hard to not say anything!

This whole episode reminded me of the mass for the Immaculate Conception at my home parish. Since it was on Wed., the Middle School Youth Group sat together. After it was over, I saw our guitar player roll a soccer ball over to the group. As it turned out, there are children in that group that don’t attend Mass. They haven’t had Formation Classes. Apparently, their parents just drop them off the youth director fuming, and she’s usually pretty even-keel. The priest walked over and had some words with the kids as well.

It takes time & effort

I admit to not giving my boys the strict religious upbringing that they should have had, but I did make sure they went to CCD/Religious Formation. I made sure they knew how to act during Mass. It hurts my heart that kids today don’t know how to be respectful during Mass. Even more, it hurts that the parents don’t realize what a miracle takes place every time a Mass is celebrated. If they did, the kids would have a better understanding. Maybe the parents don’t understand it themselves. In a world where we are all busy, it’s all about getting ahead and trying to get the kids athletic scholarships. Instead of putting their faith first, people are trying to fit their faith into their lives. It takes time to learn the truth about our faith. It takes time and effort to put God first. It takes time and effort to teach our faith to our children. It takes time and effort to answer questions, and, if we don’t know the answers, to find them. But that time is so worth it. Are you putting in the time and effort?

It's All About Community

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I'm so busy dealing with my own salvation that I forget about my responsibility to others. Salvation isn't just about me...it's about everyone I meet. Not just those I meet on a daily basis, but even those who may enter my life for a fleeting second.
We are called to evangelize, to spread the news of God. In today's First Reading (Ezekiel 33:7-9), I applied it in my life as meaning that if we have the opportunity to evangelize but don't say anything, we are responsible for that person not being saved. But...if we say something and that person chooses to ignore, they are accountable.

I have a co-worker whom I have seen at Mass. I mentioned to her that I didn't realize she was Catholic, and she said she wasn't; the man she is seeing is so she has been coming to Mass. (The times I have seen her, she was coming back from communion but I didn't make it a point to watch to see if she was taking the Eucharist, or if she had her arms folded.) She said she enjoys coming to Mass but doesn't understand all of it. I invited her to look into RCIA, and gave her Sister's name to call at the church office if she was interested. We were around a group of people, so I didn't want to say anything about her taking communion. I decided I would wait until I see her alone and bring it up. It also gave me time to think of how to word what I needed to say. I'm going to start by telling her that I'm not judging, just informing. That was mainly because I didn't know if she was taking communion. Last week, however, I didn't play in the choir and was sitting in the congregation when I saw her go to communion and take the Body & Blood of Christ. Now, I feel that it is imperative that I speak with her, only I haven't had time. I need to make the time to talk to her. I can't be so busy that I can't find a couple of minutes to talk to her. Am I nervous about it? Absolutely. I'm more nervous that she will say something & I won't know the right words to say back to her, but this is a discussion that needs to happen...soon.

That takes us to the Second Reading (Romans 13:8-10) and the Gospel (Matthew 18:15-20). We should love our neighbors enough to care about their salvation. Even those people we don't particularly care for deserve to be saved. I don't know about you, but being a cradle Catholic, when a Protestant friend comes up to me and spouts off Bible verses and starts talking about Jesus, I get uncomfortable. To me,  your faith is personal and is unique to each person. We don't have to say anything to evangelize...actions speak louder than words. And, as St. Francis is attributed as saying: "Preach the Gospel at all times and if necessary, use words." BINGO! That is exactly what I think the Readings are saying! Always be preaching. I'm so guilty of acting one way in the work place and another way at home. At work, I try to be all sunshine & roses, and by the time I get home I'm over it. My poor husband takes the brunt of it. It's not easy to preach all the time; in fact, it's quite exhausting. Jesus didn't say it would be easy, though.

In the Gospel, we're given a plan. If someone wrongs us, we are to go directly to that person. If he can't be swayed, then we get a couple of people to go back with us and try again. If that doesn't work, we get the church involved. (That had me a little puzzled, until the Deacon mentioned in RCIA that "church" meant "community".) If that doesn't work, then we make them aware of the estrangement. To me, this means that at some point you have to let go for your own sanity. If you've gone through every step you can to reconcile, then it's time to back away and continue to pray for that person. I'm not a confrontational person; in fact, I avoid it at all costs.  In reading the meditation from Magnificat, Pope Francis says that "This approach is one of sensitivity, prudence, humility, attention towards the one who committed a fault, to avoid wounding or killing the brother with words." In his Homily, Father said that he is often the last to know that someone isn't happy with him, because that person rarely comes to him and tells him. He finds out 3rd or 4th hand. When you go to that person who wronged you, you do it out of love. When you go to someone else and that person goes to another person, and so on, you may be destroying that person. As Pope Francis said, "words can kill". I am guilt of gossiping (I don't know anyone who isn't), but I do have a responsibility to stop gossip. I heard someone say that if you tell 1 person you're venting, but if you tell more than 1 person, you're gossiping. Oh, but isn't it so easy to "vent" to a few people at a time? And, couldn't it be avoided if you just went to that person and discussed the problem? Hmmmm...seems like I read that in today's Readings!
As Father summed up the Second Reading: "There is no evil in love". I had the pleasure of listening to Father Leo Patalinghug last year at our Diocesan CCW Convention. His advice is to pray for the person we don't care for. How can you dislike someone you're praying for? Good, sound advice!

I don't think the Readings are telling us to have the weight of the world on our shoulders. It's not telling us to be anxious about trying to save everyone. It is telling us to act like a Christian, be humble, sensitive, prudent, and attentive. Or, as Matthew Kelly puts it: "Be the best version of ourselves". If we do that, others will take notice and will want to emulate us. It's our responsibility to show that love and to spread the Gospel. It doesn't have to be with words; actions will do.

Perfect? Oh, Boy! {7th Week of Ordinary Time}

© Denis Makarov | Dreamstime Stock Photos

In this week's Gospel (Matthew 5:38-48), we are called to perfect. REALLY? I am FAR from perfect. Jesus knows that none of us are perfect, but we strive to be. There's a prayer that I came across that was in 1 of my mother's prayer books. Part of it read, "Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not wish to be a saint (saints are so hard to live with), but a sour old person is the work of the devil." (Mary Wheeler) Shouldn't we strive to be saints? Doesn't Jesus ask us to strive to be perfect? To be perfect means to love your neighbor as yourself (from the First Reading- Leviticus 19:18) and not boast about human beings (2nd Reading- 1 Corinthians 3:16-23). 

What does being perfect look like? You may know families who seem perfect to someone on the outside looking in, but, as I heard a priest once say, no family is perfect. We all have our struggles & crises. Someone we know may seem perfect; he or she may have it all together, be as sweet as pie, but he/she may be crumbling on the inside. We just don't know what lies underneath. It's through the struggles that we find our way to becoming as perfect as we can humanly be.

During the homily, the Deacon started out in a different direction than I. He said that, as Christians, we should strive to stand out, to be set apart. People should know right away that we are Christians. While he was talking about what "turning the other cheek" really meant, it occurred to me that it means that we should give people who have wronged us another chance. At least, that's where I thought he was going, but he interprets the phrase as  standing up for what you believe and not backing down.  He brought in the turmoil that's been going on with Facebook: in order to love your enemies (even on Facebook), we should act like Christians and not get sucked into (my words, not his) the negativity and hatred that is running rampant right now. I've started to only check my notifications on Facebook, and not look through my entire feed. It's a bit ridiculous, isn't it?

The Deacon ended his Homily with addressing being perfect. We are called to be as much like God as we can. We are called to be able to be convicted if we were brought in to be judged as Christians.

{Second Sunday in Advent}: HE KNOWS

As I read the Readings for today, the above verse jumped out at me. How many times do I look at someone and immediately make a judgment? There's a lady in my parish who used to sit a couple of rows ahead of me during Mass. I would see her look around, watching people as they came in. In my head, I could hear her make comments about them. My reaction was to think that this woman was really nosy, and more interested in people than what was going on at the altar.  And then I met her and spent a little bit of time with her. I had the opportunity to see what an absolutely beautiful person she is. I saw her come into Mass Sat. evening, and I thought about my wrong first impression of her. This was before I read and heard the Readings. Even during the reading during Mass, I didn't catch it. Then, Sunday morning as I read the Readings at my kitchen table, this hit home:
Not by appearance shall he judge, nor by hearsay shall he decide.  (Isaiah 11:3)
It's so very easy to be swayed by someone else's opinion, and I'm the world's worst at that. We are urged to think for ourselves and not be influenced by what others think. 

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to think in harmony with one another. (Romans 15: 5)
Jenna Hines wrote today's reflection for Blessed is She. The target of the reflection is to be in harmony with other people. Not to change their thoughts, just to work on yourself and let God worry about the big picture. Yesterday, during an Advent Reflection at a nearby convent, Sister mentioned that there is no need for us to worry about anything; God is in control. He knows all: He knows when we're going to mess up, and He knows how we're going to fix it. www.USCCB.org offers this explanation of that line: 
[15:5] Think in harmony: a Greco-Roman ideal. Not rigid uniformity of thought and expression but thoughtful consideration of other people’s views finds expression here.
Isn't that perfect for right now, considering what's happening post-election?

Therefore every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.  ( Matthew 3:10)
We are called to live out our lives for God. We are called to evangelize and to go out into the world and proclaim God's word, if not by our words, then by our actions. It all goes back to the question: If we were on trial for being a Christian, would we be found guilty?

For the Gospel's reflections, both ePriest and my parish priest explained that when in the desert, the Israelites learned to depend on God. When they were in the desert, they had to give all control to God. Tying the Gospel in with the other Readings, all 3 have the component of letting go and putting everything in God's hands. Man, that's difficult! There are things that go on in my life, with my adult children, that I want to control. I end up getting all stressed out about it because I think I have to be in control, when I should lift it up to God. HE's the one in control. He knows how things are going to be "fixed". When I think I have to be in control, I get physically sick to my stomach. As I learn to hand the problems up to God, I can feel that sinking feeling and the anxiety being lifted.
ePriest mentioned that John's baptism helped get rid of old attitudes and old ways of thinking. This Advent, my goal is to let go of my old attitudes and old ways of thinking I'm in control, and to LET GOD.

11th Sunday of Ordinary Time

This week’s readings was chock full of stuff, wasn’t it? I went to Mass last night and didn't read the readings beforehand. I realized that reading before Mass definitely helps me understand and stay focused. I found my mind wandering just a tad, and, even during the Gospel found myself thinking, "Wow...this is a long one" instead of keeping focused on just what the deacon was reading. In a moment of sheer weakness, I even thought, "Okay, I've heard this story many times before...no reason to pay close attention." But, refocus I did, and I read the readings this morning on my back porch, listening to and watching the birds go about their morning business. I reflected on each passage...really reflected...and tried to open up my heart to just what was being said. 

The 2nd Reading really had me stumped: Aren't we supposed to make sure we obey the laws that are given to us through the government? Isn't that part of being a Christian? After giving it some thought, I realized that, yes, we are supposed to follow the laws of the land; however, when those laws don't quite jive with the laws that God has given us, we need to stick to our faith and our beliefs, because that's what will give us salvation. The recent uproar about the whole bathroom issue came to mind. The law may say it's okay for people to use the restroom that coincides with what gender they consider themselves to be, but we have a choice. We can accept that, or say no, and not frequent places that accept it.  Another issue that popped into my mind is that of abortion. The law may say it's okay to kill babies in utero, but that doesn't mean that we should partake in it. I read an article on UCatholic yesterday. A letter to a woman's physician was included...the woman had been advised to abort her baby because she had Down's Syndrome. Of course she refused and had her baby, who has been such a delight to her family. One of my own family members was advised to abort her son because some of the lab levels weren't coming back within the "normal" range. She & her husband agreed that abortion was not even an option for them. Her son is now 26, an alum from a large university, and is an officer in the armed forces. And there isn't a thing wrong with him.

Wow! A lot came out of that passage that I didn't understand when I first read it!  Now I'll climb off of my soapbox!

Forgiveness & mercy. That's what this Sunday's Gospel & 1st Reading are all about. David was given everything he could want, but he took what he shouldn't have. He took another life just so he could have the man's belongings, including his wife. He only had to ask for forgiveness (and mean it), and he was forgiven. That opens the door for all of us, no matter what we do, we can be forgiven. Even in those times when we feel as if we've done something so terrible, we will be forgiven.

Last night, the priest related the Gospel to not only forgiveness, but also mercy. He said that the "image of mercy is rooted in our need for God." We all need God's mercy because we are all sinners. We are called to be the woman in today's Gospel. He did mention that it was interesting that Luke called out the Pharisee by name, but not the woman. Why is that? Is it because, as Father said, we are called to be that woman; therefore we should see ourselves in her? If Luke had given her name, would we be able to identify ourselves with her, or would we say, "Oh, he's talking about the woman, (name)"? Father also said that "mercy offers forgiveness and peace. The only way to know mercy is to offer it to others." We, as Catholics, have the greatest gift of mercy through Reconciliation, for it is through that sacrament we can be forgiven...without being judged by another human.

In Your Face

 I had a rough end of the day yesterday. It was the last full day of school for the students. I thought I had done pretty well this year about not getting stressed out during the last week of school. I kept to myself for the most part, so things were going okay.

But then, “it” hit the fan. I found out about some personnel changes at both of my schools for next year. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t trust God with these changes. My first instinct for one of them was to voice my opinion to my principal, which I did. I know good & well that it’s not going to change anything, but I thought the principal needed to know about some things.

Honestly, if someone had come up to me last night with a job offer with at least the same salary I’m making now, I would’ve taken it. And it wouldn’t have mattered if it was in my field or not.

I was pretty bummed last night with the changes. First off, most of the time, I don’t do well with change. I am finishing my 30^th year working in the public schools, so you would think I’d be used to it by now. But I’m not.

This morning, when I opened the Mass Readings for today, this is the first thing that hit me:

“Do not complain, brothers and sisters, about one another,
that you may not be judged.”James 5:9

Holy Crap! Are you kidding me??? Ok, Lord, I hear you! I need to trust in YOU; You alone know what is best for me. I need to turn it over to You.

Talk about “in your face”! I just couldn’t believe it. If that’s not the Lord talking to me, then I don’t know what it is.

Then, as I read the meditation from The Word Among Us, it was hit home. If we look at the person as equals in God’s eyes, we’ll see details we may have missed. It just so happens that this person’s spouse has been diagnosed with a debilitating, critical disease.  (I didn't know this when I spoke with my principal & I'm not sure that he knows.) So, it’s possible that with that person having a different assignment, it may be easier to take care of the spouse.  The meditation ended with the following: Be patient with each other just as God is patient with us.

So, I said my Rosary on the way to work, and walked in the door on my last day before summer vacation with a smile on my face and cheer in my voice. I’m working hard to place all of my trust in God. 

{SQT} Judging (Among Other Things)

1. As I was in the shower (because that's where a lot of my good thinking is done), I thought about a picture I saw on my parish's facebook page. In it was a mom with her daughter, who appears to be around 2-3, getting her ashes on Ash Wednesday. My first thought was, "Are you kidding me?" This was the grand-daughter of the woman who walked into Church before Mass and spoke out loud to the little girl to try to quiet her down. They sat 3 pews up from me; mom was chewing gum and grandmother (she's not that old, BTW) kept trying to quiet down the girl by speaking in a normal voice (not a whisper). Then, mom gave the girl a sucker to quiet her down. Oh, it worked, alright! As I watched this, I had to chastise myself for judging and not focusing on the real reason I was sitting in that pew.

2. Then, I got out of the shower, got dressed, and heard a "ping" on my phone. It was a notification from my 365 Days of Mercy App (which is free), so I sat down on the side of the bed to read it. And I read: "Here the 'judge not' of the Gospels applies with full force. We can render judgment concerning ideas, truths, or errors; good or bad actions; character, temperament, and what appears to us of a person's interior disposition, but we are utterly forbidden to judge the innermost heart, that inaccessible center where the person day after day weaves his or er own fate and ties the bonds bringing him or her to God. When it comes to that, there is only one thing to do, and that is to trust in God. And that is precisely what lover for our neighbor prompts us to do." (Jacques Maritain).

UGH. I really need to work on not judging people.

3. I remembered a dream I had overnight.  A former coworker was in it, and we were getting along. When she first starting working for our school system, I'm afraid I wasn't very nice to her, and it wasn't her fault she was put in the position she was in. Okay, Lord...I get it. I'm going to write an apology letter to her and mail it to her house.

4. I was so disappointed with the light turn-out to Stations of the Cross last Friday evening. My parish does the version called Praying the Stations with Mary the Mother of Jesus. It is absolutely beautiful and so very meaningful to apply the Stations to your everyday life.

5. My prayer list is growing. In the past, I would tell people I would pray for them, do it then, and not follow through with it. Enter the Blessed is She  On the Way Journal for Lent. It includes a monthly calendar, so I'm writing down the names of people to pray for around it as a daily reminder.

6. I think I have Prayer-Life Bipolarism. I can be so up one day, and then the next day seem to hit rock bottom with my prayer life. Quick prayer to St. Michael & a Hail Mary to put the devil back in his place!

7. I pulled out my old Steven Curtis Chapman cd the other day and listened to it in the car. I thought this song went perfectly with the purpose of Lent.

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