Finding Joy before Christmas Day

 

Usually, before Advent, I have a "dry season". Then, while I am reflecting on the Daily Readings or using a Bible Study, something clicks and I exit that season. This usually happens somewhere in the middle of Advent. This year was different. I didn't "snap out of it" until the week before December 25. Last year, I used Bishop Baron's Advent Reflections and Fr. Mark Toups Rejoice! Advent Meditations with Joseph. This year I again used the reflections from Bishop Baron and used the Rejoice! Advent Meditations with the Holy Family. Last year's meditations grabbed me from the get-go so I was expecting the same thing this year. Only it didn't happen. Maybe I pushed myself into expecting to be instantly transformed into the glow of Advent. I just couldn't get into the Holy Family. As I reflected, I realized why: it was making me take a hard look at my marriage and to see where I'm failing in my relationship. On the flip-side, it also made me see how I can make my marriage better. I realized I'm not giving myself as I should. Wouldn't we all love to have a marriage like Mary & Joseph's? 

The closer we got to Christmas, the more joy I felt. I played my flute for the 5:00 pm Christmas Eve Mass. When I arrived, snow was falling and just beginning to stick. (This is East Tennessee...a white Christmas is virtually unheard of!) The snow fell all during Mass and I left to this beautiful scene:

It was 6:00 pm, so the Angelus Bells were ringing, it was still snowing, and most of the people were gone so it was quiet. I was reminded of a Christmas of my youth when it snowed on Christmas Eve. The excitement of the snow and Christmas was incredible. I don't know how else to describe it...pretty indescribable. I felt joy that I hadn't felt in years...not since my mother passed away. I felt such comfort thinking about that Christmas. 

On my way home, I drove past the tree in the park next to our house. We don't get to see this very often (because...East TN!)

I made my way home and this sight greeted me:

My youngest son (who is 26) had no idea I hadn't felt joy during Advent. I came home to these candles on the wall and dinner ready (except for 1 thing that I had to do). My heart was exploding at that point! My middle son ended up surprising us by flying in from Louisiana later that evening. I was able to see all 3 of my boys on Christmas Day. I can't believe I didn't take a single picture of them, though!

 My mother passed away 6 1/2 years ago. Her birthday was on Christmas Day and she spent a good part of her life as the organist at church, so our Advents & Christmases were filled with music and the hustle and bustle of the liturgical season. My father passed away almost 4 years ago. It's only been the past couple of years that I even wanted to acknowledge Christmas. This Christmas will definitely go down in my book as one of, if not the best, ever. I definitely felt the joy of Christmas this year!