Think about those times in your life when you have felt inspired to something really great. Where does that inspiration come from?
The Holy Spirit. God inspires us to do great things with our lives.
----Matthew Kelly

Welcome to The Not So Perfect Catholic!

Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, just a Catholic empty-nester trying to figure it all out. The views on this blog are my own.

Weird Stuff When I'm Tired During My Adoration Hour

I can think of some really weird stuff when I'm tired during my Adoration Hour. As I read John 6:51-58, I had these thoughts:
I wonder what the crowds thought when Jesus said that in order to live they had to eat his body and drink his blood. Did they think it was just so bizarre?
Those thoughts were validated when I read the Blessed is She reflection. In the second paragraph, Kendra Tierney says "Don't worry, it didn't sound any less weird or horrifying to them than it does to us today." Whew! Except that's not all I wrote in my journal.
It's easy for us since we know we can take in Jesus through the Sacrament of the Eucharist, but I wonder what they really thought of Jesus. I think it just makes everything seem so far out there. Today if someone said that we would think of zombies or vampires. Here was this man offering eternal life if they would eat of his body and drink his blood. Isn't that what the vampires in the movie promise? Maybe I'm just thinking of this because I'm exceptionally tired. Maybe that's where the originators of vampires got their idea.
See what I mean? Blessed John of Ruysbreck is quoted in Magnificat: "and therefore there abides in us, together with all saints, an eternal hunger, and an eternal desirous introversion." And there you have it: an eternal hunger. We are longing for Him. We hunger for Him. And the only way to satisfy that hunger is through the Holy Eucharist.
Proverbs 9:3-6 goes hand in hand with the scripture from John. We are all called to His table. No matter who we are, us miserable sinners, we are called. He has prepared the table for us- it's up to us to accept the invitation. To RSVP with a "no thanks" would be foolish. And Ephesians 5:16: Making the most of the opportunity, because the days are evil. If we don't stay busy and do everything for Him, we can be sucked into doing evil. I am so guilty of this. I stay out of trouble at work by staying in my room and staying busy. Even eating lunch by myself in my room is a necessity when I feel the negativity pulling me in. If I was wiser I would know when to keep my mouth closed.

A Church in Crisis

Today the Catholic Church is in crisis. Satan is pulling out all the stops to attempt to destroy Her. Just this year, Ireland voted to legalize abortion. In light of the clergy scandal, there will probably be many people who will leave the Faith just as many of Jesus' followers left when He said: "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life...". (John 6:54) The evil one won battles that day, and he will win battles over this crisis. Priests are human...they are men. They make mistakes, and unfortunately, some of them have hurt many people. But you know what? We don't participate in Mass for men. Our goal for Mass is to receive the Eucharist...the body & blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ. If you're one of those who is debating leaving the Church because of the crisis....don't. Please don't put your salvation in danger because of the actions of men, or the Catholic Church as an institution.
Our faith will be tested but we have to stand firm. Satan is doing his best to destroy Catholicism. Just when we think things are better Satan rears his ugly head and finds someone who will carry out his plan to demolish The Church. I for one thought we had moved on from the crisis. Through Virtus Training, the Church has made great strides in educating anyone who went through the training on the signs and follow-through with sexual abuse. A recent article in the NCRegister was extremely disturbing with its reporting of priests and seminarians disavowing their promises. The article just made me sick to my stomach.
Pray for priests. They need our prayers more than anything. Pray for the Leaders in the Catholic Church that they are able to rid Her of the ones who are not staying loyal to Him and to their vows. Father Donald Calloway, in his book "Under the Mantle" admitted that he is tempted a lot. Priests are tempted in ways we can't even imagine. They need our prayers to hold Satan at bay.
This Prayer for Priests was given to us by our Diocesan CCW Spiritual Commission Leader:

The Bread That Sustains Us Through Life's Journey

Priest at an altar holding up a host during consecration; words above the host
Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash
God gives us the bread that sustains us through life's journey. I have family members who will say that being out in nature is going to church for them. They say they speak to God when they are in the mountains/out in nature. My comeback to that is that you can't receive the Eucharist without participating in Mass. 

In 1Kings 19:4-8 Elijah had given up. He just wanted to die, but God sent an angel twice with bread and water to sustain him on his journey. God is continuously offering us the living bread and water to sustain us on our earthly journey. He offers Himself daily. Unfortunately, there are those of us who are not able to participate in Daily Mass due to work obligations. On those days, we can pray a Spiritual Communion.

What is a Spiritual Communion?

A Spiritual Communion is giving your whole self to God when you can't receive Sacramental Communion. It's having the desire to receive Christ but not being able to physically receive Christ through Holy Communion. In a Q&A from Our Sunday Visitor, Father Francis Hoffman, J.C.D. defines a Spiritual Communion as "a personal devotional that anyone can pray at any time to express their desire to receive Holy Communion at that moment, but in which circumstances impede them from actually receiving Holy Communion." He explains that the circumstance may be anything from being home-bound to being on a mountain top. He goes on to say that "your soul receives grace to the degree that you have true hunger for the Holy Eucharist".
Even though a lot of Catholics may not have heard of a Spiritual Communion, it has actually been around for centuries. In the late 16th Century, the Catechism of the Council of Trent devoted a whole section to Spiritual Communion. Pope John Paul II spoke of it in his encyclical Ecclesia de Eucharitia. Many saints made Spiritual Communions numerous times during their day. Padre Pio, even though he celebrated Mass every day, made them during his day. St. Catherine of Siena, concerned that her Spiritual Communions were lacking, had a vision of Jesus with a gold and silver chalice. In the gold chalice were Sacramental Communions, in the silver were Spiritual Communions. He then told her that both forms of Communions pleased Him. Other Saints who prayed Spiritual Communions include St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Maximillian Kolbe, St. Alphonsus, St. Teresa of Jesus, and St. Josemaria Escriva.
The Spiritual Communion doesn't have to be a formal prayer. You can simply ask Jesus to come into your heart since you can't make a Sacramental Communion at that time. The RCIA attendees are encouraged to make Spiritual Communions since they are not in full communion with the Catholic Church yet, and as such are not able to receive the Sacrament.  For those who prefer a formal prayer, this is the prayer that St. Alphonsus Ligouri prayed:

"My Jesus, I believe that you are present in the Blessed Sacrament. I love you above all things and I desire you with all my heart. Since I cannot receive you now sacramentally, I ask you to come spiritually into my heart. I embrace you as if you were already in my heart and unite myself to you completely. Please do not let me be ever separated from you."

As you may know, I work for a school system. My schools have a moment of silence after the Pledge of Allegiance every day. (Yes, there are still schools out there who do this!) What a perfect time to ask my Angel to go to any Mass that may be celebrated throughout the world at any given time. 

Send Your Angel to Holy Mass
O, holy angel at my side,
go to the church for me.
Kneel in my place at Holy Mass,
where I desire to be.
At Offertory in my stead,
take all I am and own,
and place it as a sacrifice
upon the altar throne.
At holy consecration’s bell,
adore with seraph’s love,
my Jesus, hidden in the Host,
come down from heaven above.
And when the priest Communion takes,
O, bring my Lord to me,
that his sweet heart may rest on mine,
and I his temple be.
Then pray for those I dearly love,
and those who cause me grief,
Jesus’ love may cleanse all hearts
and suffering souls relieve.
Pray that this sacrifice divine,
may mankind’s sin’s efface,
then bring me Jesus’ blessing home,
the pledge of every grace. Amen.
— Author unknown

The Bread That Gives Us Strength

In John 6:41-51 the word "bread" is said 6 times. Do you think He's trying to tell us something? My parish priest said the partaking in the bread we are offered at Mass "gives us the strength and courage to do the will of God; to get over ourselves and to spread the Word of God." He said that, just as in the Gospel passage, we at times come into Church mumbling and murmuring, but the bread of life is HERE. Here is where we take the bread of life into our bodies and are called to take it out into the world. 

As Catholics, what a gift we have been given! To be able to receive the Precious Body & Blood of Our Lord, Jesus Christ to sustain us on our life's journey. I don't know how my Protestant friends sustain their strength. There have been periods in my life when I did not regularly attend Mass. Looking back, I felt weak at those times. There was definitely something missing. Sacramental Communion definitely gives me the strength to continue on as God wills. Not only that, but I feel that I am able to carry out His will and to accept things that may not go as I want them to. 

I love being Catholic. I love that my parents gave me this gift and I chose to accept it. It's hard to imagine what my life would be like and how difficult this journey of life would be if I wasn't able to eat the bread of life that sustains us.
For more information on Spiritual Communion:

Adult Parenting is a Lot Harder Than It Should Be

Image with quote from Charlotte Gray
Parenting is hard. Adult parenting is a lot harder than it should be! When I look at how my parents did it, it looks easy. They made it look easy. There had to have been times when they were worried about us but they didn't show it. Okay, they didn't show it much. I know there were times when they were hurt by our choices as adult children but they were wise enough to let us make those bad choices (which, in the grand scheme of things, weren't all that bad). Being the 8th child and the 6th girl, by the time I was an adult I think they had adult parenting down pretty well. They never sat me down and gave me lectures or advised me about the choices I had to make...unless I asked. I can't say if they did the same thing with my older siblings or not, but we all turned out pretty well; we are all responsible adults.

I am attempting to parent my adult children the same way. I would like to think that my husband and I gave them enough guidance when they were children, but I'm afraid we were lacking. It's too late to do anything about it now, and we're being forced to show some "tough love". It just breaks my heart. You want your children to have it better than you did, to not struggle with the same things you did. In doing so, sometimes we go overboard with trying to make it easier on them by giving in to their requests/demands. But at some point, it has to stop. They have to learn to live on their own without the support of their parents. It means some rocky times, some times of maybe not hearing from them. That results in requiring a lot of trust in God.
A few weeks ago, during daily Mass, my priest said that we say we trust in God and we give him that trust, but then we take it away. That really hit home for me in so many ways. I want to completely and totally trust in His plan for my boys and, being a control freak, it's so hard to give up that control and hand it to Him. He knows the mistakes my boys are going to make and how they are going to fix them. If He knows, why is it so hard to hand it all to Him? (Enter the control freak.)

After not hearing from one of my sons in a few days (after an abrupt ending to a text conversation) I was worried. I poured out my heart in front of Jesus in the Adoration Chapel. I had a good cry and called upon the Holy Trinity, Mary, St. Monica, St. Augustine, and St. Anne to please watch over my baby and guide him. I got up to turn on the light; when I did I saw The Divine Mercy picture in the back of the chapel.
Picture of Jesus as the Divine Mercy
I heard my heart say, "Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet". I didn't have my pamphlet with me, but, since I was in the Adoration Chapel, I knew there would be one on the bookshelf. There was, but it was in Spanish. There were cards there, so I grabbed one, went back to my seat (after turning on the light), pulled out my Rosary, and began. When I finished, I cried my heart out to Him more and spoke to Him...really spoke to Him. What a cleansing! When I got home I spoke to my husband about how I felt. He is usually more concerned than I am, and he didn't seem very concerned which eased my mind more. He is usually the one checking up on our sons and making sure everything seems to be going okay. My parents rarely contacted me unless they had a question about something. I hate to admit it, but there were times in my life when I would go weeks without calling them. My boys know where we are when they need us. They need to live their lives without having helicopter parents, and if I'm totally honest, it keeps me from being anxious and worried about them.

I'm not going to sugar-coat it: It's hard. It's hard to know what to say, when to say, and when to be quiet. It's hard to not give advice unless it's requested. With each of my 3 boys, adult parenting looks different. It looked different when they were growing up so I shouldn't be surprised that it looks different now that they are men. In the end, they are my babies regardless of how big they are or how old they are. I would take their pain rather than see them going through rough times. It just seems so much harder than it should be.


  • Are you getting close to having adult children? Are you already there? This article offers 3 ways we need to "let go" of our adult children. 
  • Maybe you're in a situation where you are estranged from an adult child. This post may give you some consolation.
  • If your child is entering the "independent" stage, here are some tips that may be of some assistance in learning to let go.
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