Offering Everything Up to Him

Tithing. Should I do it? How do I decide how much to give? Am I offering everything up to Him? Do I really have the complete trust I should have?

To have the faith of the women in 1Kings 17:10-16 and Mark 12:41-44. The total and complete trust they had in God is astounding. They both gave the last bit of their livelihood and trusted. The widow in 1Kings knew that she and her son were going to die. They were down to their last little bit of flour and oil, then here comes this man asking for water and bread, citing the Lord's words to calm her fears. I'm not sure, but I feel pretty confident I would have been grumbling the whole time I was making the bread for this stranger.
Tithing. Our Protestant friends seem to have this down to an art. I heard the joke "Catholics don't tithe, they tip". Isn't that true in a lot of cases? Some people say that the Church has enough money, they don't need anymore. The reality is that it costs money for the upkeep of the church: the utility bills have to be paid, the employees have to be paid. Not to mention the donations to charities. I had a Protestant friend many years ago who said that she found when she tithes, even if she didn't feel like she had the money, she always made it to the end of the month. Isn't that just like the widows? My friend was single and a teacher, so there were months when she was very concerned she wouldn't be able to make her utility payment due to tithing, but it always worked out.
I have to admit how selfish I am. I like having a little bit of money left over out of my paycheck. I'm not a big shopper, and through the years my impulse shopping has decreased dramatically. So why don't I give more to the Church? (See the first sentence.) Does it boil down to lack of trust?

Giving my all to Him

The widow in Mark contributed "her whole livelihood" (Mark 12:44), not just financially, but in everything. As I go through the day, do I whisper to Jesus, telling him everything I do is for his glory? When I run into a store quickly only to be held up at the cash register because the cashier is having a nice, slow conversation with the customer, I'm usually cussing under my breath instead of thanking God that there are people who still take the time to talk.  When things are so crazy at work and my students all act like they've had a ton of sugar, I need to learn to stop and thank God that 1) I have a job that I love, and 2) that I have been entrusted to work with children and help mold their lives. When I get home and I still don't have time to sit down because there are dishes left in the sink, the dog had an accident on the floor, the bed hasn't been made, supper has to be made, etc., I'm usually grumbling instead of being grateful that I have a home to come to at the end of the day. All of these little things can be giving all I have to Christ.

It's not just about money

How do we know if we've given enough? I know I don't give nearly what I should give. I give a lot of my time, but monetarily? Not at all. I researched a bit and found that the Church doesn't suggest a fixed percentage of what should be tithed.  From Catholic Answers: God doesn't demand a fixed amount of money from us; he wants us to give from the heart. If people are forced by their church to give a certain percent of their income, that's extortion. If they give freely and cheerfully the amount they are able, that's a gift.  An article in The Catholic Digest states tithing actually means 1/10th. Father William J. Byron, S.J., suggested that the Church may bring back the 1/10th, with 1/5th being service and 1/5th being monetary. Father Echert from EWTN stated that the Church takes into consideration the service to the Church as part of its tithing. Our stewardship includes time and talent, not just money. 
The 1/5th and 1/5th as Father Byron suggested make complete sense to me. I often look at how much time I spend at church with CCW, choir, and RCIA and use that as a cop-out for not giving monetarily. My diocese had a "Home" program a couple of years ago. We were given a certain amount of suggested monthly donations and asked to give that much for 2 years. Each parish developed plans for improvements and the money was to be given directly to each individual parish for those improvements. My contribution was very little. Could I have done more? Absolutely. Should that count as part of the tithing? I would think so.

Was grumbling involved?

There have been times when I was at Mass and had a $20 bill and smaller bills in my purse and chose to give the smaller amount because I might need that $20. Yep, my total trust in God just isn't there yet. There are so many aspects of my life where I want to put all my trust in Him but something is holding me back. Trust is such a hard thing to give and not take back. I wonder: did the widow in 1Kings grumble? Did she wonder if she was doing the right thing? Did the widow in Mark have to think about what she was giving? Did she slip in quietly so no one would notice just how little she was giving, even though to her it was an awful lot?

I know I should strive to emulate these widows, to not be grumpy and to offer all I have to God. I am a very selfish person, and I am fully aware of it. We all have something we need to work on, and this is a huge area for me. Baby steps...it's going to take baby steps!

Breaking Out of a Dry Spell and Rediscovering God

Photo courtesy of Pexels

I had the most amazing experience during the Consecration at All Saints Day Mass: I felt the presence of God. Since I was in the choir area, I saw the back of the priest's vestments with the host & wine lifted high above his head. You may be thinking "What's so different this time? I feel His presence all the time". The difference is that I have been going through an incredibly dry period. This one seems so much longer and drier than past dry periods. Maybe it's because over the past few years I felt closer to God than I had in a long time, which made the dry period seem longer and drier.
I spoke with my Spiritual Director who urged me to keep doing my daily prayer routine. As I told her, I will not let Satan win. So many mornings I have felt like I've gotten nothing out of the Readings or prayer. No matter how hard I tried, I just didn't get it. How hard must it be for religious and saints to go through dry periods! Oh, but when you feel that presence of God again, what a joyous feeling!

Why the dry period?

Reflecting over the cause of the dry period gave me a couple of reasons why this was happening.
1) Our parish priest recently retired. I absolutely love this man! He is so tender, so understanding, so...HOLY, although he would be the first one to dispute that. He is one of the best (if not THE best) homilists I've ever heard. He can take a reading and in just a few minutes relate it to your life. His homilies were short, sweet, to the point, and relatable. His love for God came through during every single Mass. His enthusiasm for spreading The Word was evident every time he was on the altar. Once he retired, it was like the wind was taken out of my sail. I'm sure I'm not the only one, but it felt like the whole church atmosphere did a 180. I had trouble feeling God during the Mass. I rotely went through the Mass, not really understanding what was being said or being able to apply it to experiences in my life. I took notes during the Homily, but those notes over the past month were so scattered that they just didn't make sense. Having a priest on the altar who genuinely loves his calling (and not seeing it as a "job") makes all the difference in the world.
2) Change. I don't like it. It seems any time I get too comfortable, I have to deal with change. And this was a big one. When I first moved back "home", I was a church hopper. I couldn't find the parish where I felt comfortable and where I felt I belonged. Even in the parish where I grew up, I didn't feel welcome. Every time I thought I found a church home, the priest would leave or be reassigned. Now that I found a home in my childhood parish (the same one where I didn't feel welcome), I was comfortable, and my spiritual life was flourishing.
3) Busy-ness with other things. The beginning of the school year is always hectic but this year seems to be so much worse. On top of that, things out of our control have been happening to the RCIA team so a couple of us are having to take up the slack. And if that weren't enough, in the middle of all of that I presented with a couple of people and had a booth in the exhibit hall for our state speech/language convention.

How things are looking up

The new priest who is assigned to my parish (his title is "Parochial Vicar") came a few weeks ago. He's young (early 30's) and his love for God and the Mass is very evident. When he first opened his mouth to speak, I thought "uh-oh" because he has a monotone speaking voice while celebrating Mass. But his homily! While it's pretty obvious he's reading his homily (our previous parish priest never read his homily...it was heartfelt and never read), he has a good message. It's not too long, and it's definitely not all over the place. His first Sunday, he had to talk about stewardship. He managed to direct the theme to the Gospel as well as our every day lives, so he won my approval on the spot. He's also a fellow blogger; he posts his homilies so they can be revisited during the week. On All Saints Day, he had this on the altar:

I've seen this in our Adoration Chapel but had no idea what it was. It is a first-class relic from St. Maria Goretti. According to Mary Rezac in an article for the Catholic News Agency (11/01/2017, "Is it Weird that Catholics venerate relics? Here's why we do"): First class relics are the body or fragments of the body of a saint, such as pieces of bone or flesh.
So far, our new priest is piquing my interest and curiosity so that I want to learn more about my faith. I want to delve into the lives of the saints (specifically St. Maria Goretti) to learn more about her since she is a part of our parish. He also mentioned that he was born on the anniversary of the conclusion of the Fatima apparitions, and now he is at Our Lady of Fatima. Definitely a "God-incidence". I think I can learn a lot from him.
I met with my Spiritual Director a couple of weeks ago and she gave me some excellent ideas to keep plugging away. Several years ago, Jennifer Fulwiler wrote a blog post offering 9 Tips for Spiritual Dry Spells. Most of her suggestions follow what I was told to do.
Things are easing up with work so I can take the time to read and just be silent. I don't feel as if I'm being pulled in 100 different ways. I'm sticking to my routine and it's proving to be effective. Slowly but surely I can feel God creeping back into my heart and letting me know that He is still there.

A Catholic Woman's Perspective of Death

As Catholics, we are taught not to fear death but to embrace it. We eagerly await the time when we are called home to our destination, our reason for being on this earth. I remember discussions with my mother about death. When asked, she said she wasn't afraid to die. Growing up, I wasn't either. I was more scared of how I was going to die.
The Song of the Prayer of St. Francis has the lyrics "And in dying that we're born to eternal life". We have to die to live in the joyous, most beautiful Heaven. We have to die to see God.
The first time I had been around someone when they died was when my father passed away. I worked in a nursing home for a couple of years as a Speech-Language Pathologist but was never around a resident when they passed. It was such a beautiful thing, to be with my daddy when he left this world and went to be with God. I wasn't scared at all. I know I was right where I was supposed to be. I almost left my brother's house but something...someone told me to stay. I know it was the Holy Spirit urging me to be with my daddy when he passed away. Our God is a gracious, merciful God. Daddy's passing was so very peaceful and it definitely was one of the most beautiful, amazing events in my life.
I was asked once if my father was scared to die. Looking back, I have to answer with a resounding "no".  His faith in God kept his eyes focused on being with Him and being reunited with my mother. We should all pray for such a peaceful, happy death.

What is this "Day of the Dead"?

A recent article in Aleteia was titled "Why do Catholics celebrate Day of the Dead"? Interesting. My parents were born and raised in Texas and my minor in college was Spanish, yet I only heard of this "Día de los Muertos" a few years ago. Or maybe I had heard of it but a huge emphasis wasn't placed on it. This is a beautiful celebration that takes place over 2 days (All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day) to honor those family members who have died.
Day of the Dead has picked up steam in the education world, and I'm sure the real meaning is being watered down. Personally, I've steered clear of it in my therapy activities because I'm not sure how to separate the religious meaning from the secular meaning and to be perfectly honest, I don't want to. It's also my belief that it's the parents' responsibility to teach their children about death and how to respect it.
You can learn more about Día de los Muertos through this National Geographic article.

Memento Mori

This is something I've definitely never heard of. Sister Theresa Aletheia, FSP, has brought this phrase back to life, so to speak. Latin for "Remember your death", the skull is a reminder that we all will die. This practice is a reminder to put all things into perspective. Our ultimate goal is to get to heaven. All of the stress & chaos in the world seem a little less serious when we live for Him and when we reach for that ultimate goal. 

Sister Theresa Aletheia wrote a journal that is available for purchase. I'm looking forward to receiving mine and learning more about Memento Mori. 

I would urge anyone to not fear death. Dying is something we all will experience. Put your faith in God and do what you can spiritually to be ready.